crawling out.

It feels as if the last almost-four months has been dedicated to sleeping, or laying down wishing I was sleeping.  Also simultaneously wishing my olfactory system no longer worked so I wasn't constantly fighting the feeling of an impending vomit session.  I have really come to believe my highly advanced sense of smell needs to take much of the credit for the non-stop nauseousness as it kicks into overdrive when pregnancy arrives.  Why do I blame my nose?  Because around week 12, I was hit with a nasty sinus infection that lasted a total of around five days.  At that same time, I was tricked into believing the nausea was finally coming to an end.  I couldn't breathe properly whenever I lay down, but I didn't care.  I stuffed tissues up my nose and reveled in the glorious idea I was feeling human again.  Until the sinus infection was over, and suddenly it returned.  It was a mean little trick to play on me, as I felt swept back under into the darkness of exhaustion and nausea that doesn't care if it's morning, afternoon, evening, or waking me in the middle of my sleep as the sun began to rise.

I am slowly crawling out though, with one or two good days each week now.  It isn't consistent, and I can't figure out what causes the temporary relief, but have learned to just take each day as it comes.  {Otherwise I've been found to spend them feeling sorry for myself on those hard days of sickness, asking overly-dramatic and obnoxious questions like, Will this everrrrrrrr ennnnnnnddddd????}

In spite of feeling as though I've lived in a cave, life has carried on.


Before I was sick, there was Valentine's Day:

Beautiful, imaginative, emotional, soft-hearted, constantly singing and dancing Leah turned 5:

We took a real family vacation, with Andrea and her family!

Ben finished his FINAL, LAST EVER class, and celebrated with a nap on the stairs:

I took a quick trip to Vegas and Utah for a siblings weekend:

Then the sickness hit, and the next thing I could remember was my sister and her family visited over Easter weekend.  I was so sick and felt so badly I could barely get out of bed, but did manage one night to get a babysitter, go out to a fancy dinner and REALLY celebrate their company and the end of doctoral classes:

Preschool graduation:

Mother's Day:

Our awesome, energetic Caleb turned 9:

Then finished 3rd grade:

And those are the highlights!  

Ben has been the champion of champions while I've basically checked out of life,

only putting on makeup maybe once per week, and emerging from the house about the same.  

Before he started his new job, he took on kid-duty, grocery shopping,

laundry and cleaning.  Those were a couple of weeks I barely remember, but am so grateful for, 

because I'm sure he remembers them.  

Now he's working in a new job and is gone several nights a week again,

and I say a lot of prayers and honestly?  The kids watch a lot of t.v.  

I'm hoping I'm getting to the end of it though.  First trimesters are rough, what else can I say?

two.

whoo!  it's been quiet over here.  the end of a long vacation, continuously un-packing as we move in, then a purposeful earlier bedtime {for me} have contributed to the silence.  now i feel bursting with things to write, without the ability to follow through on it all.  so, one step at a time.

first things first.

oh, little junebug has become a toddler.  she turned 2 while we were on our eternally-long-but-fun vacation, the official day of her birth was while ben and i were in NC.  i know what you're thinking,

poor 3rd child...her parents weren't even home on her birthday!

but there are some things out of our control, you know?  one of them being the day june was born happens to be a very popular day to get married, or so we're quickly finding out.  on her first birthday, we were traveling to california for andrea & shawn's wedding, on her second we were celebrating the love between carmella and jersen.
 

but, that doesn't mean we didn't party with this girl before we left!  we decorated, sang, and had cake with family, laughing as we watched her eyes light up and her entire body tremble in excitement when she opened the Ariel doll from her cousins, and the Tinkerbell bracelet and phone from us.  the girl is a sucker for a mermaid with flowing red hair, or any type of fairy.

on her actual birthday, we facetimed with our sweet little chunk, and i stared at her eyelashes, fuzzy hair, and chubby cheeks, wondering how there could have been a day in my life that i hadn't known her. 

she talks so well, carrying on conversations while using words like "interesting." she sings and dances, and can get easily grumpy and then just as easily brought out of it.  she loves to make us laugh but is also taking after caleb in the serious department, in the way she inspects things and views life.  i can tell she's going to be more grounded than leah, the two have become such good friends in the past couple of months and it will be interesting to see how the dynamics play out as they grow up. 

the evidence is continuing to mount that she's just like me--in more than just the looks department.  all signs point to her being an outgoing introvert, just like i am.  she's not shy at all, but doesn't love the spotlight of attention on her in a crowd.  when people first meet her, i tell them to pretend that she's not there and she'll warm right up.  it's funny to see a younger-version of myself in her this way, and i think she and i will always relate to each other in this place, more than i can my other two complete extrovert children.

she is still my shadow, wanting to do anything i do.  if i put on shoes, she needs to also.  sunglasses are the same.  she's also my snuggliest child, and my best sleeper.  every night she begs her dad to "rockaminute" with her before she goes to sleep.  he holds her and hums to her, and then she calmly goes to bed without a fight.  ben has always had the magic touch with her.

we absolutely love you, june.  
from the calm baby you were to the spunky toddler you are now, you add so much to our family.

we couldn't picture being us without you.

and now, for a june photo montage....because you know, third children deserve it.