how big is too big?? how small is too small??

(caleb at primary children's hospital for 3 days of testing & seizure-watching...notice the cute little shirt? we kept it as a souvenir.)

okay i think shellee & i were online at the same time b/c her comment just popped up in my inbox. and so i will answer the question...it's actually something that's been nagging at me for a couple of weeks now.

really the reason ben was concerned about me not "getting bigger" for those who don't know, is because with caleb i had a 2-vessel umbilical cord. which apparently happens in like 2% of all single births & like 7% with twins. so i was a pretty normal size until i was about 6-7 mos along and then my growing slowed--almost stopped. for some reason i had gone to two doctors who did the full measurement work-up at around 5 mos. who did not find it. i naively thought i was just lucky...and going to be small. (seriously, where was my brain?? i'm under 5' tall! you have nowhere to go but OUT when you are this height.)

(me 3 wks. before i had caleb)

it was only until caleb popped out at 4 1/2 lbs. being full-term & they actually saw the cord that it was confirmed. it is not genetic, i was told it's just a "freak thing" that happens. but the chances of having a stillborn baby go up to about 85%, so we were that much more grateful that caleb was tiny, but alive.

once the 2-vessel is supposed to be discovered (about 5 mos.), you have to go in for weekly check-ups to weigh the baby & they are usually taken via c-section the moment you are considered full-term (36-37 wks.) because the risk of the baby losing nutrients & starving in your uterus is so high. i did not do any of this because we did not know.

many 2-vessel babies have SEVERE problems when they come out. physical deformities, mental retardation, etc. caleb was not "normal" nor was he "easy" but his problems were miniscule compared to what they could have been. poor digestive system, seizures, inability to gain weight (did not get his mother's metabolism) and slow physical progression were basically what we dealt with. not to mention the CONSTANT crying for several months. he seemed to always be in pain.

(caleb's 1st out of 3 EEG tests)

we spent our first 18 mos. with him in & out of hospitals, working with several specialists, and a lot of physical therapy. but the older he has gotten, the better his health. plus we prayed every night in gratitude to our heavenly father that as far as neurologically, he was doing fantastic.

(ben helping caleb in his old-man walker)

sooooooo....back to the point. i popped out pretty early with this pregnancy, which made me think i was a little farther along than i really was. at my 1st (and only, so far) dr's visit, i asked the midwife what the chances of this being another high-risk pregnancy. she said one in a million. i saw the baby, saw him punch & kick the little ultrasound thing when she pushed down on him (good for him, she was pushing down HARD), and my fears settled down.

but since that time, i don't feel i'm getting much bigger. i had noticed, and ben noticed. i'm only a little over 4 mos. along and am hoping i'm just paranoid, but the next dr. visit should give us a better idea & hopefully all is well.

now i just need to silence the little nagging voice in the back of my head that something is wrong. positive thoughts, right?? right!