raindrops on roses.

so here are some of my favorite things that have made me especially happy lately...

this stuff is great for really dry skin. pricey...bought it in the pre-graduate school days...but it's lasted me forever. you only need a little bit to go a long way.

the best. the trick is to keep them in the freezer and only let yourself have a handful a day. or two. or three...

got this off of amazon & have really been enjoying it, when i have the energy to actually do it. really helps with stretching, there's lots of pilates involved, and it works the caboose area until it burns. plus the girl teaching it is like 8 months pregnant. one of those "if she can do it..." however when you're halfway through & you're huffing & puffing, you remind yourself that this girl toured for like 10 years with cirque du soleil. so you take a quick break and watch her with amazement.

another fantastic product for dryness. in the hair section. something else a little pricey, but i have had this for almost a year now and use it every time i do my hair. still half a bottle left. now that's something.

i had heard it's an illness. shopping for little girls. i haven't let myself even glance at the aisles in target or get on ebay. but then some demon inside takes over and i find myself online at baby gap. this is like my perfect choice for a blessing dress. a lot of people are into lace, layers, and length. but it's just not my style. i like simple and sweet. but for $40? gonna have to go on the backburner...

really love cleaning with this stuff. just smelling the grapefruit smell makes me want to keep on cleaning.

and here is my favorite 3 year old...

and my favorite 29 yr. old having fun with that 3 yr. old...

becoming an explorer

the past couple of nights ben has very (non) subtly commented to me that i resemble a nick jr., bilingual character:


why, you ask? a fashionable new bowl cut? no. new ruffled top yellow socks? not likely. he bought me new jewelry looking just like that flowered contraption wrapping her wrist? guess again.

it's because i don't have many (or any) maternity pajamas so when i go to bed, the belly pokes right out. basically i look like a stuffed sausage. ben hasn't actually said the words "stuffed sausage" but i know he's thinking it. give him 2 more weeks. it will be voiced.

but let's look at the bright side. look at all that dora has going for her. she's a world-renowned actress, beloved my millions, has many exotic friends...one of which is a moon boot-wearing monkey.

the closest thing i ever had to that type of friendship was when my BFF wendy rocked the moon boots in our 2nd grade picture. bosom buddies were born at that moment. (mentioning those boots twice in one month might be the end of our friendship but it had to be done. forgive me gwend. they were all the rage back then.)

in addition to all this, dora must have a giant brain there in her large, football-shaped head. who knows, she may very well be a genius. (if anyone in this family has a melon-sized head...special order their graduation cap, anyone? so ben i'm sending that "compliment" your way.)

not to mention her fashion sense. she wears those mismatched clothes with flare. and even though her belly pokes out, she doesn't let the world (aka "her husband) get her down.

i guess this muchacha and i have more in common than i had initially thought. in a twisted way, i will look at ben's comment as a compliment. thank you hon.

so i say, stand up proudly girls. bare those bellies. vamanos amigas, we can lead the way. hey! hey!

ben's apologetic masterpiece.

(he really did just write this on the fly. what did i say about that melon-shaped head?)

in response to ben (me) putting his foot in his mouth, i have written this poem for all the pregnant ladies around the world. starting with my very favorite. my wife.

lynsey, mi amiga, strong and able
though your belly knocks things off the table
do not let it make you feel sad,
when you remember the curves you once had.
just remember in a few short weeks
as you try to sleep through cries and squeaks
your stomach may be flat again
but you may wish that baby back in.

you may look like a girl named dora,
but i think it's cute.
who could ask for mora?

for carmella...

we went to a halloween party on friday and decided to get in the spirit as john mccain & sarah palin. our friends the beckers, that were throwing the party are big obama fans so we thought we should bristle some feathers! (luckily we weren't thrown out)

we went to savers & i bought a very tacky jacket & skirt. the jacket was too big up top but had to be big enough for the belly so i looked a little awkward but you get the point. the more pictures i saw of myself the more unflattering i realized that jacket was.

or maybe it's just my face that's unflattering. this is me with a gun shooting caleb's stuffed baby moose in true palin style.

ben mastered the awkward mccain smile. and completed the look with an old man walking stick. sorry the picture is messed up again, i don't know what happened.

we made buttons that said:

• 72 is the new 30
• hunt or be hunted
• baby #6? with an arrow pointing to my stomach
• i *heart* alaska
• former beauty queen

we had a great time and are excited that we got to know some more phoenix peeps. thanks for the great party!


and p.s.... becoming a brunette? i think i kinda like it. hmmmm.....

MRI day.

so today was caleb's 4th MRI in his little lifetime. he has to have a yearly full-spine MRI to check on these tiny fluid-filled cysts that line his spine that he was discovered to have (during MRI 2). they were too small to worry about last time, and we are hoping the outcome for this one is the same. spinal surgery kinda scares me.

(here is a drugged out caleb from MRI's of yesteryear. MRI #2.)

whatever the outcome, MRI's for a child are never fun. (he came out of it at 10am and still can't walk on his own here at 5pm because of the after-effects of the anesthesia.) he has to be starved of any food & liquid for hours before, he has to be put completely under & so that means an IV pick. then caleb is always a little fiesty, so he has to get the extra dose of knock-out meds so that he will lay completely still.

making the recovery time last twice as long.

a brain MRI lasts usually 30-40 mins, a full spinal lasts 1 1/2 hours. here are some fun pictures to remember this fun day.

(right after getting the IV, not a happy camper. who can blame him?)

(snuggling with dad under the warm blankets. highly recommended if you have your kid go through this.)

(sleeping beauty slept...)

(and slept...me w/ dave, our awesome RN)

then sleep-deprived ben & lynsey got a little bored. only 3 hours of sleep the night before can do a number on you when you're waiting 2 hours for your child to wake up.

so ben took this little gem of me...

and then this too-close-for-comfort jabba the hutt impersonation.

trying to wake sleeping beauty.

well the day is over. just like the fairy tale, sleeping beauty woke with true love's kiss and went home to take a 3 1/2 hour nap...after eating 12 mini pancakes. poor little guy is still acting loopy & can't walk straight. but this too shall pass. making a candy chain right now for the countdown to next year's follow-up MRI. gotta find something to enjoy about these things, right??

we're it.

(the picture just turned out like this, i tried it twice. picasso eat your heart out.)

iwas tagged by my friend brittany, so here goes nothing! we'll switch it up a bit by putting both mine & ben's answers. but of course, only believe mine. i'm just putting ben's down to placate him. :)

What is your spouse's name?
L: ben.
B: lynsey, the most beautiful girl in the world. (okay, L added that last part, but only because i know he was thinking it)

How long have you guys been married?
L: 6 years on december 27th.
B: short enough that she is making me sit here and respond to this post and long enough that i will sit complacently and do it.

How long did you date?
L: about a year.
B: are we talking about "dating" or "hanging out?" both are different numbers. i think we started dating about a month before we got engaged. before that, both of us were so commitment-phobic that neither of us could admit we were dating. we just hung out. a lot.

How old is he/she?
L: he stares death in the face everyday, which means he's 29.
B: the only person i stare in the face everyday is you.

Who is taller?
L: he'd better be, i'm under 5 feet! we'd have our own show on TLC if he were shorter than me. B: me for a change. (a whopping 5'8".)

Who can sing best?
L: when ben sings "lay down your weary tune" by bob dylan or any of the church hymns, there's nothing better. he will be sweet & say it is me.
B: she can.

Who is smarter?
L: ben has this crazy memory. he rivaled our autistic client at the group home in useless facts of information. but when it comes to grammar, spelling, or anything regarding celebrities, he is no match for this little lady.
B: she was smart enough to marry me, so i'm saying her.

Who does laundry?
L: laundry? if by that you mean taking off the pants you wore for the day and putting them over our clean, folded laundry in a basket, that would be ben. if you mean the blood sweat and tears that goes into us looking pressed & clean, that would be me.
B: by nature of the first definition lynsey gave, i do.

Who pays the bills?
L: what do you mean "pay" exactly? right now sallie may is bringing home the bacon. otherwise, i'm the one who pushes the automatic withdrawal or bill pay button.
B: my mistress, sallie may.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
L: recently i asked ben to switch sides of the bed because caleb comes in & wakes me up at a lovely 6:30 am. so if i sleep on the opposite side, he wakes up ben. if we're laying down, i'm on the right side.
B: it doesn't matter who sleeps on the right, it matters who is always right. and that's me.

Who mows the lawn?
L: don't own one here. but at the group home, we tried to bribe one of the kids to do it. then ben always had to end up going out there to re-do it. or kill the snakes that popped up in the grass whenever the lawn mower got fired up.
B: it's actually a group of hispanic gentlemen who come to the apartment complex and flare up my allergies. i think they mean well.

Who cooks dinner?
L: i seriously don't like cooking. it's something i am really trying to correct. so i still do it, and when i cook it usually tastes good, i just prefer it when i don't have to. ben definitely helps. he just makes a huge mess when he does it.
B: my baby's "cookin" all the time...if you know what i'm sayin'. she be hot. (now he's just getting ridiculous, i tried to get him to change his answer but he wouldn't hear of it.)

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?
L: as soon as i am wrong, i will admit it first.
B: i don't know but lynsey always admits when i am wrong...which then makes her wrong...which then makes me right...and i will admit to that.

Who kissed who first?
L: definitely ben. the conversation afterward was hilarious, but we will save that for another day.
B: true story.

Who wears the pants?
L: when it comes to home decorating or having to push a child out of a body, me.
B: i don't know honey, who do you think i should say wears the pants?

we tag...the thompsons, the fart felt fam, lane payne & stacey, brandon & emily dormy, cousin dana & cousin andrea. if you've already done this one, you don't have to do it again.

find joy in YOUR journey

today ben & i spoke in sacrament meeting. i was actually really (okay, only somewhat) excited to speak but it was only because i was asked to speak on president monson's awesome talk from conference, "finding joy in the journey." so if you want to read about it, head over here for a little spiritual somethin' somethin'.

tummy time

so the day i found out i was pregnant i decided to make a little "pregnancy resolution." is there such a thing? i don't know.

for me, one of the most difficult parts of being pregnant (as lame as this sounds) is the fact that i have to give up sleeping on my stomach. i have never found much success sleeping on either my back or my side. if i'm forced to sleep on something besides my stomach...such as the 6 weeks my jaw had been broken & my mouth was wired shut making things extremely uncomfortable...then i usually just toss and turn, and have a very fitful sleep.

so i was determined that this little alien inside me, whether or not she would cause back pain or stretch marks, would not own me in the sleeping department. i pictured myself 8 months pregnant, on my stomach, with my arms and legs flailing about in the air because my belly was so huge they could no longer touch the bed. like i'm laying on a basketball, right?

for over 5 months now i have fought a good fight. however the past few nights i have succumbed to the realization that i am fighting a losing battle. because even though i've been successful at staying on my stomach, this fiesty little lady (the baby, not myself) has been kicking and punching me like she is trying to record a new tae bo video for billy blanks himself. she does NOT like to be squashed. well guess what? i don't like to feel like i'm going to barf every second of the day but that doesn't seem to matter, now does it?

last night i actually said aloud in frustration, "FINE!" and rolled onto my side. so even though i didn't get to sleep on my stomach, at least the ferocious kicking ceased.

as i was laying there, mad that i had broken my resolution to myself, i thought about an invention....you know when you get a pregnancy massage, they put you on the beds with the holes cut out for you to lay your stomach in? well, why not make a mattress like that? it doesn't need to have an actual hole in it, just kind of a caved out place for us stomach sleepers to still get a good night's rest even when we are great with child.

i know i would buy it. anyone else?

blast from the past

(with a printer that finally works AND has a scanner, i couldn't pass up this little treasure. notice the scotch tape with part of the black mat it pulled off? oh who am i kidding. how could you not notice it.)

dear tyler,

your chicken little hair confection blended with my permed coif i think make the perfect pair. notice the chiquita banana sticker on my hand? classic. sometimes when i look at caleb i catch glimpses of his uncle tyler from years ago. thanks for always being the one that i can laugh with until we both cry, & then turn right around and have one of those "good talks." your sensitive heart and strong sense of self have made you into an amazing man. someone a nephew would be proud to look up to. thank you for always sharing the music, thank you for always being you.

i love you tizzy.

my sister.

dear lauren,

even though i talk to you almost every day, i don't think i have mentioned lately just how beautiful i think you are. not just the outside package...which i have always been envious of...but the inside, which is most important. an amazing mother to three adorable and wonderful children, a supporting and loving wife to your perfect-match husband. when i think of you, these words come to my mind:

thoughtful
self-sacrificing
intelligent
christ-like
humble

thank you for being not just a fantastic older sister, but someone i would look up to whether or not we were related. you know everything about me and love me in spite of that. i love you laur, and wanted to make sure you know that just in case i don't tell you enough.

holding on & letting go

this afternoon i helped ben study for mid-terms while caleb took a nap. when ben left, i knew i only had a few moments to myself before caleb woke up and the fun began. i had decided to peek in on him before i went to have some "me time." as i looked in on him sleeping soundly curled up with his little bear i couldn't resist to grab a pillow and lay down by him.

as i lay down, i disturbed him a little and he sat up in a drunk-sleep stupor and started mumbling nonsense. i asked him to lay back down and he curled up in my open arms and went right back to sleep. for about 15 minutes, i held my sleeping little boy.

it didn't matter that my neck was kinked, or my arm was falling asleep or that i was laying on a book. i just enjoyed being there with him, hearing his light snore and smelling his hair. i just held on.

from the day we become parents we do our best to hold on but soon come to a realization that we will eventually have no choice but to let go. every new milestone, every first step, every first word is one step closer to the last time we can hold on before we are forced to release our hold.

when caleb was a baby i was so anxious for him to grow up...usually the opposite of how most moms feel. after the first 10 days of his newborn sleep wore off the crying began. and seemed endless. our first year with him was extremely difficult but with each day that passed, he seemed to feel better, cry less and became more happy.

i was reminded by a friend's blog about the first day i truly felt happy as a mother. caleb was about 5 months old, he was happy and smiling. for the first time, i felt like i had done a good job and had helped put that smile on his face. i took a picture so i could remember:



since that day there have been many rewarding moments, days, weeks, months. right now as i'm writing this caleb is running around, dancing & kicking to music. he goes too fast, gets dizzy, falls down and laughs.

i want to hold on to this little 3 year old who loves to laugh, imagine, go places with me, wrestle with his dad, and carry around his bear. i know that this phase will end just like the music he is dancing to.

i know that letting go is important. for me, for him. to gain a tiny perspective of what our heavenly father went through with each of us. that doesn't make it any easier though. but somehow, knowing that letting go will come eventually, it helps me hold on to these moments longer and enjoy them more.

5 month shots

so here is one i had ben take today & one i took 2 days ago. there you go, ladies that i bug to see your pictures...here i am in all my glory!

two guesses as to who needs to clean their bathroom mirror.

addendum...for my sweet sister

the letters "b, s, l" are our first initials & our last. it's cool laur, i should have specified.

abc's...druggie style

so i got these little letters on clearance at target last year. i thought they'd be cute as book-ends or something but it turned out that even though they are metal, they were too light to hold up a stack of books. so...unsure of what to do with them, i just set them out on an end table.

a few hours later, i went back to find them like this:

i thought it was ben being funny, but it turns out it was sweet little caleb. hope this isn't any sort of premonition of a career choice as a drug lord. ;)

sometimes things lie...

what do these 3 things have in common?

and

that's right, they prove that this:(chinese birth calendar)

is not always accurate.

we're having a girl!!

(and we couldn't believe it either...but we're really excited!)

and more importantly...

sorry i should have added this in.

• weight gain so far: 2.5 lbs, which is fine by me.
• the baby is: just on target for how big she needs to be, so is my uterus. so far so good. 3 vessels on the cord. even better.
• how many times i asked the ultrasound tech if she was 100% it was a girl: about 30. yes, she is 100%. and ended up giving us a close-up shot of what is "NOT" there. (that poor lady finally asked, "is everything okay? are you disappointed?" to which we answered: "no not at all. just extremely shocked. and wondering if she will look good in blue, since all we can afford is caleb's hand-me-downs.")
• name picked out: yes we already have one and no i don't care if people know. it will be leah. my grandma's name & my middle name. critique it if you want, it's staying.

favorite version

okay when i listen to something like 5 times in a row, it's time to post it. laur, why don't you live closer? you could bring the guitar & i'd bring my accordian...

E! THS

blast you, E! True Hollywood Story. not only do you come on at the most inopportune times, but i find myself unable to rip my eyes away from you anytime you grace the television screen. kate hudson, alec baldwin, jennifer aniston. it does not matter who it is or how meaningless their actual life is to me, i cannot look away. you are like a bad car crash and i am the one on the sidelines causing the traffic jam on the freeway in rush hour.

blast you.

ladiezzz night, andrea/lynsey style

sigh. gone are the days of yesteryear when priesthood session for you meant:

an opportunity for the girls to get together, do prom hair, eat chocolate, and watch a sappy movie. then plant yourselves at the nearest fast food restaurant about 5 mins. before the priesthood session ends so you can check out the fellas in their ties. (the teen years)

or as you get older...go to the lunacy that is deseret book ladies' night, get in an argument with the emcee of the night holding the microphone & yelling at you in front of the crowd (because you "accidentally" folded/crumpled your drawing entry in an attempt to have an easier time getting picked), get huffy back...because she didn't need to be so darn RUDE... and announce loudly "WE'RE LEAVING!" then go shopping at the mall. (the early marriage years)

that was a true story by the way, though i can't take credit for getting in a fight with the emcee. it wasn't me.

but andrea and i set our sights high, thinking, "we can handle this for 2 hours" and came up with a game plan.

so we started in DB. mistake #1. we got our free gift for being one of the first 100 ladies there and immediately began talking about how to re-do it so that it's a little less tacky. don't get me wrong, i love anything that's free. it just wasn't my taste this year. however i did manage to buy a dozen of their rolls. niiiice.

within the 5 minutes we were actually inside the store we had to:

• keep our kids from being trampled by the insane women
• keep our kids from stealing anything... such as small pens, bracelets, on our way out the door. okay that was just my kid. why do they put those things right at the level kids can reach them?

and we went to the mall play place. mistake #2. at the play place we had to:

• keep our kids from being trampled by the 50 other kids there.
• keep OURSELVES from being trampled by a certain "kid" (who looked to be like 15) who continually ran at warp speed throughout the play place and at one point nearly knocked me over. seriously there should be an age/height/weight limit for these places. this fellow clearly exceeded all 3. so i'm complaining about it to andrea, point the kid out, wonder aloud where his parents are & why they're not reprimanding him for almost killing all children & adults who get in his path. cut to 5 minutes later, the kid walks up by me & reaches behind me to get a drink supplied by his grandpa...who is sitting DIRECTLY behind us. whoops.

after around 20 minutes, we decided to change our game plan and headed for barnes & noble. not necessarily mistake #3, but we had to...

• thwart our eyes from the dirty looks given to us by the B&N worker in the kids section. he was mad because the kids were getting out books and not putting them away. now i'm all about cleaning up after your kid but we were waiting until we were leaving so that we didn't have to clean up like 25 times. well he wasn't having it. he would grunt and "humph" each time he came behind one of the kids and picked up a book and then shoot us another glare. i am sure right now he is venting on his blog about "irresponsible mothers" who don't clean up after their kids. but whatever dude, we're doing the best we can.

finally it was time for the boys to get out. so we met them at In-n-Out, and enjoyed some fun company. then tyler got the "3's" and capped off the night with some laughter. caleb was so happy to be with his "best fwiends" again and cried almost the whole way home. thanks gizzies, for a good time. next year though, andrea, how about we stay home & eat chocolate? i'll bring the hot rollers...

baby update coming soon...

so i finally, FINALLY got a dr.'s appt. for next thursday. by that time i will be officially 20 weeks, 5 months, halfway through, etc. it's crazy to think we are already almost halfway done & i've been to the doctor once. i will take a picture for you stacey. and mom, you can be happy with me now. will update when i know how we're doing!

the quirks

here's a throw-back picture to the ol' chin zit posting.

i was tagged by cute brittany, and this is one that doesn't involve pictures (since we now realize that our camera hook-up was one of the things lost when our trunk opened on our move up here), i thought i would answer it.

6 quirky things about me:
(brace yourselves)

1. i think i might be a germaphobe. i blame caleb. when he was born, & up until about 6 months after, we were told by several specialists to keep him out of the limelight of germs. so i learned to walk into a room, scan all of the kids for snotty noses, people for grimy fingernails, or licking their fingers, what not. i know there are many of you out there who are relaxed, normal people with normal kids who feel that this is way overboard. but let me tell you, after spending a major portion of his first year in & out of hospitals (he had spinal meningitis at 2 1/2 mos for crying out loud), you will do anything to avoid being there again. but anyway, being a germaphobe is like a button you turn on that you can't turn off. i'm still constantly scanning nursery rooms, play place areas, and caleb's hands. one would think that my house would be immaculate. on the contrary. i just live in fear of my own surroundings. just kidding, i'm not that bad.
2. i am a creative bug killer. especially spiders. when i find them in my home...where they don't belong...i make them rue the day. do you know the best way to watch a spider suffer? hair spray. they get all sticky & can't walk & then take a minute to die. to add to the illness, i also leave the bodies of the dead out for about a day or two. my explanation for that? i want all the relatives of the bugs to know what's gonna happen to them if they show themselves. lately i have been windexing tiny ants that i keep seeing in my kitchen. i want you to know, this goes against everything ben believes in. he is the kind that will cup a moth in his hand to let it outside to fly free. me? i will smash that mother into our mirror & let it sit there for a good 24 hrs.
3. i like to pluck ben's eyebrows....specifically the uni. for some reason, seeing the one eyebrow again become two is thrilling to me. like i am an artist and he is my sculpture.
4. i have a tendency, when i am overly tired, to laugh hysterically. when i say hysterically, i mean i am in pure hysterics. there have been many who have been privy to this experience, mostly family. but it can go on for anywhere from 20mins to an hour. i usually am bawling because i am laughing so hard, people think i am crying, and i have to remove myself and go on a time-out in order to calm down. otherwise it could go on for days.
5. i do crazy things in my sleep. i whimper, i stroke ben's cheek, i wake up with a screwdriver under my pillow without having any knowledge of how it got there. once at the group home i woke up to find myself in my closet, searching for clothes to wear because i swear one of the kids had walked into our bedroom, and laid down in-between ben & myself. my heart was beating so fast & when i woke up, i was on my hands & knees looking for my bra. anxiety disorder, anyone?
6. i can pick my nose with my tongue and eat it. just teasing, i really can't. i know there are more things but i'm at a loss. i asked ben and he said, "hmmmm. well i guess i'm just used to your quirky things now. if anyone asked what is quirky about me, i would say it was you." thanks honey.

i tag: kristen symmes, kristin harker, stacey p., brooke l. (welcome to blog tags!) susie j., and shellee. have some fun ladies!

things i love about caleb...

caleb is just a fantastic little 3-yr old who has a tendency to say some pretty hilarious things. here are some from the past week:

(on spiritual matters)
mom: how was nursery today?
c: good.
mom: did you talk about jesus?
c: yes, but it was too boring.
mom: why was it boring?
c: because jesus didn't talk to me.

(on going to sleep)
c: momma, i caaaaannnn't sleeeeeep.
mom: well all you have to do is close your eyes and think about good things.
c: NO! i can't close my EYES! then i can't SEE anything!

(on helping his mom lose weight)
c: momma, can i help you?
(starts smacking my rear end with a measuring cup)
mom: what are you helping me with?
c: i'm trying to make your bum smaller!

(on potty training)
mom: hey caleb, i think it's time for you to go potty on the toilet like a big boy.
c: NO!
mom: do you want to be a little baby, or a big boy?
c: i'm a big boy, but i'm NOT going potty on the toilet!
mom: well, how are you going to be a big boy then? only babies wear diapers.
c: i'm going to change my OWN diaper. that's what big boys do.

and my #1 thing that caleb has been saying to me for months now. every morning, when either i wake him up, or he wakes me up, he says:

"it's time to wake up momma. it's a beautiful, sunny day!"

i don't know where this kid learned that phrase, but he very obviously is a morning person like his dad. and i love it. he puts me in a good mood right from the start. i love being his mom.