quarantine

so the first reported case of the swine flu has hit arizona.
where? oh, about 3 miles from where we live. awesome.

2 month stats

took the little lady to her 2 month check-up yesterday.

weight: 9 lbs, 12 oz. (25%)
height: 22 1/2 in (50%)
head: 15 1/2 cm (40%)

i almost hugged the doctor when he said our baby was on the charts for weight.
we've never had that before and for some reason, it felt so good.
and 50% for height??
incredible.

she smiled and talked to him the whole time he was gagging, prodding, pushing, rolling and just plain annoying her. never once made a fuss. what a difference from my last baby who screamed his head off when he was just getting undressed & the fun hadn't even started.

still blows my mind that she was in my stomach parts
just 8 short weeks ago making me miserable.

my how time flies.

my episode!!!

so the online reality show episode is here! it talks a lot about what we went through with caleb and me being pregnant this last time. it looks like next week is my show about the BIRTH! primal screams and all.




hope you enjoy it!!

if it doesn't show up, go here.

sass

exciting things going on here. there is a man who attends our church that has to wear a patch over his right eye. clearly not for fun. but today caleb took one look at him and before we could stop him, said loudly,

"oooooooh. a pirate. coooool."

awesome. we know the man heard him, but ben & i pretended that we didn't and just immediately tried to speak over him, by practically yelling,

"okay! time for primary! let's go buddy! it's going to be so much fun! come on, we'll race ya!"

and for the first time, let caleb run in the church halls.

on to the subject of sass...

in the last meeting today i got up to stand in the back for a minute to bounce leah to sleep and caught sight of this sweet little elderly lady on the back row. she uses a walker and an oxygen tank. her back is hunched and her fingers are arthritic. but you know what i noticed?

the hot pink fingernail polish on her nails.

and i thought, now that lady has some sass. i really hope that no matter how old i get, or how much gravity tugs at my old body, i treat myself to a manicure and rock the hot pink polish.

and this sassy couple is going to be showing up on our doorstep tomorrow for 5 days of good times:



yep, that's my brother. respectfully nicknamed "jesus" by my funny--and sassy--cousin shellee. and his wife kirsten. another woman who reeks of sass. her blog (private) never ceases to make me laugh out loud and vomit up my breakfast in the same post. she is painfully honest about her quirks and hands out insults like they're chocolate bunnies. what i mean by that is, you get slammed in her blog (and yes, she uses names so there's no mistaking) and yet you still love her when it's over.

example?

when she highlighted her hair, my dad told her that she and i looked alike, could be twins. obviously he just meant the hair, since kirsten is like 6 feet tall and naturally slender and i am under 5 feet tall and, well....me. so what does she say?

and i quote:

"Lynsey, your dad said you and I look like sisters with my new hair color. Except for the height difference and all. I was thinking maybe we're like the twins in that movie with Arnold Swarzenegger and Danny Devito. Eh? Eh? Okay that was mean. You've got like three inches on Danny Devito. At least."

so there she is, sweet as honey kirsten, calling me danny devito. just in case you forgot what he looks like...


what a sass mouth. don't worry, i will seek revenge. maybe i'll make her take her harry, of "harry and the hendersons" body and sleep in leah's crib during her stay.

bring on the sass.

episode 4: vanessa

oops, so vanessa's episode came out this week but when the charger broke on my computer i forgot to blog about it.

so go here, and click on the link to watch.

up on monday....ME! yowza.

will his wish come true?

with caleb's birthday just a few short weeks away, i made the mistake of asking him what he wanted to get for a present.

what did he want? a new toy truck? a bike? a new movie? something a normal kid would ask for?

no.

a direct quote,

"i want a violin and a golf club."

i should have known. this is the same kid who asked for underpants for christmas. and guess what he got?? that's right. 10 pairs, coupled with the ominous words said by his mother, "and soon you'll get to wear them!"

so i guess i had it coming to me. but still.

the golf club i can handle...just get him a plastic one. but the violin??? any ideas??

"and i pity any girl who isn't me today"

so her dimples like to play hide & seek every time i try to take a picture of them.

the one on her left cheek is more shy and only comes out when it's been flattered and complimented. and by that, i mean when i call her a "pretty girl." seriously. she doesn't respond to her name, or my high-pitched, laughable baby voice, but the second i say the words pretty girl to her, she lights right up, smiles huge, and left-cheek-lopez (back off, a mother can name her daughter's dimples) appears. i didn't get a picture of the big grin yet but i will.

she is such a happy baby these days.

love it.

here's the more serious shot.

i said the words, "make love to the camera" and this is what she gave me.

she talks a ton now too. it is one of the cutest sounds in the whole world, even when she's venting. but most of the time she will just look at us and say in her sweetest little voice,

"ah-goo."

her eyelashes are coming in & getting darker.
if only her hair would grow.

but even with the little she's got,
she's still our pretty girl.

i should have picked black knight.

well, well, well.  i have returned from the dead.  also known as the land of the laptop-less.

for the second time, i broke the charger to our only computer.  i am so awesome i astound myself sometimes.  last time it was during ben's midterms, and this time it was during his finals.  not only am i astounded at my clumsiness, i am also astounded by the patience of a very wonderful husband.  

okay, let's play a game.

truth, dare, double-dare, promise to repeat, or black knight.  (never heard of black knight?  me neither, until like a month ago when ben told me about it & said it definitely is part of the game.  and i told him that really, "black knight" was just a lame excuse for getting your friends to run naked down the streets.  which we all know is what he & his friends would pick.  every time.  what is it with teenage guys getting naked & running around?  a different subject for a different day.)  

i digress.

okay, my turn.  since i'm not in the mood to strip down and scare my apartment complex-ees, i pick truth.

did i lie to my husband about breaking the charger for the second time?

why yes, i did.  how did you know to ask me that?

did i eventually tell him the truth?

yes, i did.

how many days did it take me to get up the guts to tell him the truth?

wow, you're insightful.  you apparently can see through to my dark soul.  where the liar in me hides.

um, 3 days. 

okay, okay.  i know it's bad.  i think there have been 2 times that i have lied to my husband since we have been married.   (and once when we were dating, but that doesn't count, does it?  and i told him the truth then, too.)  each time i have told him the truth.  i think this is the longest amount of time i've held out admitting to him.  

i was just so scared to tell him.  i knew that he had huge test to study for and like 2 papers to write.  but why was i scared?  it's not like he has a huge temper or anything.  he doesn't yell.  he's never called me a name, or given me the silent treatment.

because i'm a coward, alrighty.  and i wanted him to not look at me with my clumsy imperfections and instead keep me up on the pedestal i've been on for 6 1/2 years now.

ha, ha.

so here's what happened.

i was logging on to nickjr.com to let caleb play his little preschool games for a few minutes.  i had the laptop on my lap, then...because it was early in the morning & i had hardly slept the night before, i yawned.  and stretched.  a biiiiiiig stretch.  this stretch was from the heart.  so much so that my arms went up, my legs flexing out.  and i realized that i had made a mistake.  but it was too late.  in slow motion, i saw the laptop slipping off of my lap and onto the floor. 

ka-boom.  yikes.

i picked it up, praying silently.  luckily it seemed fine.  until i looked at the charger.  and it was no longer charging.  more praying.  the darn things are $90!  and we'd just replaced it a month ago!  and we're in a flipping recession where we can't even afford the fancy diapers!  

but alas, charger #2 had passed away.  luckily it was quick, i don't think she felt anything.  i tried CPR, but to my chagrin she lay still and peaceful, with a soft smile on her face, er, cord.

i went to text ben to tell him what happened.  and at first i did not fully lie, i just committed the sin of omission.

"you're not going to believe this but the charger died again."  i text.

"you're kidding me."  he writes back.  "is it the charger or is the computer broken?"

pause from me.  do i admit it?  not over a text, i think to myself.  i should be dignified and tell him to his face when he gets home.

"um, i think it's the charger.  you'll have to check it out when you get home."

not a full lie, right?  so he comes home and asks what happened.  i blink.  several times.  gulp.  then like a total pansy, i say, 

"i totally don't know.  it was working last night and then i checked it today and it wasn't working."

i am a bad bad person.  i get it.  so he spends a couple of minutes trying to fix it.  i hear many long, drawn-out sighs escaping his mouth.  finally he says he can't get it to work and needs to go to school to finish his papers.

i live with this lie for 3 whole days.  it bothered me.  gnawed at me.  and i would eat some of caleb's easter candy each time i would think about it.  his candy is now gone and let's just say he only got like 5 jellybeans.  let's also say he had like 17 eggs that were full of candy.

oh, the guilt.  the shame spiral.  i circled it round and round until 4 extra pounds and 3 days later, i finally blurt out,

"BEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU I DROPPED THE LAPTOP OFF OF MY LAP AND THE CHARGER BROKE AND I LIED TO YOU AND I'M SORRY AND I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE ME AND I JUST FELT LIKE A BOTARD BECAUSE I HAD JUST BROKEN THE CHARGER LIKE A MONTH AGO AND I'M SORRY AND I FELT REALLY BADLY BECAUSE I KNEW THAT IT WAS YOUR FINALS WEEK AND I'M SORRY AND I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE ME FOR LYING TO YOU AND I'M SORRY."

phew.

being the upstanding man that he is, he was really nice about it.  which of course sent me hunting for chocolate.  i am a sad, sad piece of work.

good thing i married a future therapist, huh?

you know, next time you agree to play this game with me i'm going to pick something other than truth.  i guess i should start working off all of this candy so that at least my neighbors won't barf up their dinner as i streak past them.

it's good to be back, my blogging friends.  good to be back.

you can always tell how the day is going by whether or not the bed is made.

i often tell this to ben.

and i also add,

"so if you walk in the door, and you can see that the bed isn't made yet, and it's 4pm...don't even ask if you can help. just come on in, put your game face on, and start helping."

and you know what the best part is?

yesterday, he did just that.

what a good guy.

hippity, hoppity, tradition's on its way

we are not your typical easter peeps.
let me expound this thought with a picture:

i am considering sending a copy to heff,
to see if i can star in one of his episodes of "the girls next door."
i think i'd be a front runner.

but anyway.

we don't buy our kids easter outfits, and have never before laid out any baskets, giving a 6 foot bunny all the credit. i don't care if others do these traditions, it just hasn't been my thing.

and here's why:

1) we have pretty much been too poor for the majority of our married life to justify new church clothes for us all at the same time.

2) i am too lazy to get all worked up with easter baskets for a little boy who was too young to care/know what was going on in the first place.

that being said.

i've been feeling a bit like i am a bad mom.

and here's why:

1) i never decorate for the holidays. even last christmas, we didn't even put up a tree because we knew we'd be in utah for like 4 weeks & not come home until january. bah humbug.

2) i don't do the "make everything green for st. patrick's day," or "make heart shaped sugar cookies for valentine's day." it's not that i don't have intentions to do it. i'm always thinking, ooh, that would be fun. but it's the preparation that somehow gets me. i just don't prepare ahead. then, suddenly it's valentine's day eve and i've got nothin'. so what's a girl to do? that's right, pretend like she doesn't care enough to do it. (secret's out...she does care.)

this never before bothered me, until i realized that as our own little family, aside from our nightly ritual of everyone taking their multivitamins after dinner,
(FYI: i take dora, caleb takes sponge bob, and ben gets stuck with rugrats. don't feel badly for him, he deserves it.)
we have pretty much zero traditions.

and that bothered me.

so for easter ben & i decided to change things up a bit. i shopped around, and after realizing that we still can't afford new sunday clothes, got caleb a non-church shirt for $5.99, and nothing for the rest of us.

but i did raid the dollar section at target and got some stuff to fill caleb's basket (that's right, i said a basket! be amazed). because let's just put it out there, the kid doesn't like candy so much. he would be much happier with a peeled cucumber and a stick of cheese. so he got some stickers, a couple of new books and play-doh eggs.

what did leah get in her basket? some of her own diapers (unused, we're not that bad), some of her own butt cream, a little stuffed duck that we were given as a gift, and a little milky way bunny for her parents to share.

the best part of it all is caleb's newfound obsession with easter egg hunts. the eggs are no longer filled with anything...in fact, they haven't been for the last 12 hunts we've done since saturday. but he doesn't care. it's the thrill of the chase--er, the hunt.

and i must say, after seeing the happiness in caleb's eyes when he found his basket & dollar store items, it is one that will probably be happening again next year.

and a tradition is born.

though i'm sure that next year we still won't be shelling out $22 bucks for new easter clothes. so i guess that's another tradition we will keep. but the tradition of being poor isn't necessarily one that i would like to carry on throughout the rest of my life.

you thought this was the end of the post, didn't you? it would make a lovely ending. however...

after we got home from a delicious easter dinner with our friends the goldings, we realized that we have never taken the "traditional easter picture" that everyone seems to take. so here is our attempt:


fancy, isn't it? notice the close proximity to which caleb's leg is touching leah's. i am amazed he has a half-smile on his face because i can see his fingers are clenched together in fear.


and leah's little headband? yep, not something she normally wears. however she doesn't have much hair & so we thought she'd look more like a lady with it on. that is until i pulled it off at the end of the night & saw that not only had it left a huge dent in her head, it had rubbed off a patch of the little hair that she had. so we probably won't be doing that again.

a happy easter to one and all.

productive girl, interrupted

i have decided lately that the best way for me to feel like i have accomplished something, or even anything during the day, is to set just two goals for myself. they can be the same goals or different ones each day.

today's goals:

1. exercise
2. shower

why keep it so simple?

well even though leah is much easier to deal with now, i still feel like--

hold on. she's crying. it's time for her to eat.

...okay, i'm back. so as i was saying, it feels like anytime i try to get anything done--

just a minute. caleb needs a banana.

...alrighty. i get to the end of my day and can sometimes look around & get down on myself for not having the hot dinner waiting for ben, or the house is a mess, or i haven't even brushed my teeth yet---

um, the phone is ringing. be right back.

...as i was saying. it's difficult to feel productive lately. so i decided to simplify it and set two goals so that at the end of the day i have something to pat myself on the back for and say to myself, "well, at least i've showered. or at least i have deoderant on. or i'm just glad that i---

hold on again, caleb needs help after going potty.

...for example. this posting so far has taken me an hour and a half just to get to this point. each night i look back and try to think of how i could use my time more wisely. yes there are times when i sit down and read blogs, but it's rare these days when i even get the chance to comment because i've been interrupted so many times that i can't remember what i was going to say in my comment anyway --

okayyyyy. she's crying again. probably needs to burp for the 40,000th time today.

...so yes, there is some down time that i could give up. but that's difficult to do. when i don't give myself a breather i tend to get more stressed out because i haven't taken a moment for me--

caleb is yelling to me from his quiet time in his room. needs a snack. for the love.

...if you're finding yourself in the same boat i am each day, maybe try to simplify it for yourself. i've realized that by doing this i actually end up getting more accomplished than i plan on. by getting these two seemingly small tasks done, i can end things on a positive note by looking at what i have done instead of what i haven't. and i realize that there is a silver lining that maybe someday there will be a time when i can actually put down 3 goals a day, then 4, then maybe 5 --

oops. time to exercise, otherwise it will never happen.

...

episode 2: ida

such a fun, caring & beautiful woman! ida has a spunky personality & has really been sweet in reaching out to me. this woman has a packed life yet still makes time to be considerate of others & make new friends. watch her episode. go ida!




or if the video doesn't work, click here.

we get to do a GNO this week that i'm really looking forward to. plus we've been drinking a lot of fantastic applejuice lately. go MOTTS.

sweet pie

caleb has refused to call leah by her name. instead, he calls her sweet pie. no, not sweetie pie. sweet pie. i think it's funny so that is what she's known as around here.

caleb will say things like,
"mom, sweet pie is crying!"

or to her,

"it's okay sweet pie, momma's coming!"

and ben & i have picked it up. i am thinking about changing her birth certificate. no, i am not.

she is still doing much better, sleeps sometimes 6-8 hours STRAIGHT through the night. that means not even getting up to eat. and no, i did not have to use the cry it out method (my opinion is that she is way too young for that stuff still), she just started doing it.

we no longer live with gas drops attached at our hip to constantly drip into her mouth, and no longer have to count how many times she's already gotten gripe water to make sure we don't O.D. her.

she still has trouble pooping on her own (TMI??) and we have to help her sometimes (which we are going to ask the ped about miralax...thanks kanien! i had totally forgotten about that. caleb was on it for like a year & it really does help!) , and still takes like 45 minutes to be fully burped, but otherwise is a smiley, happy baby. praise the heavens!!

so here are a couple of updated pictures of
sweet pie.

***coming soon...adventures in the ER! caleb is a madman dancer & got a little too crazy this time with his breakdancing skills.

f.a.m.i.l.y.

f.a.m.i.l.y. this is what caleb spelled out to me tonight. he's getting to be a good little speller. the other day, he said, "wait mom, i have a surprise for you!" and made me close my eyes as he led me into the kitchen. this is what i got to see:

(ben also wants to me to have you make note of the "666" up in the top right corner. always focusing on the positive.)

that is him with his first & middle name spelled out. except he's blocking his middle name, "john" but it's there. awesome picture of him by the way. after i saw him like that, he got a haircut the next day. but he loves to spell. he knows all of the phonetics of the letters so we work on words all the time. and he's reading certain words without any help. he does simple addition & subtraction problems.

okay i will stop...

...and he knows the square root of pi. and he can ride a unicycle while juggling at the same time. and he was just honored with a nobel peace prize.

here are some f.a.m.i.l.y. pictures from 2 days ago. me with my new haircut. chippity chop! 6 1/2 inches gonzo. feels nice. and back to blonde. i loved being a brunette, but it faded quickly and i don't have the wallet to keep it up. so...back to blonde me. sigh.



two guesses as to who took this last picture. yep, our nobel peace prize winner.

i love our little f.a.m.i.l.y.

episode 1: dana

so i just realized that i can embed the videos from the online reality show on the blog. umm, yep, i'm slow.

anyway, here's dana's episode. she is a beautiful & amazing woman with a wonderful outlook on life! completely inspiring story.
just in case it doesn't work for you, click on this:

www.realmomsguide.sheknows.com

and hey! for something fun, join the community. there's online giveaways, groups, you can blog or just get to know other real moms. easy & free.

redemption

so last year through our time at the group home, we had a private blog. we went private because of the nature of what i was writing about, and that way i could be as detailed as i wanted to be about the experiences we went through with the kids.

i've kept it private because we have stayed in contact with some of the kids from the GH and i don't want to them to google search our names & be able to read about themselves. a breach of our contract, i'm sure.

anyway, here is a posting that has nothing to do with the GH kids:
***************

sept. 28, 2007

5 shows that make me want to hurt someone:

these shows i REFUSE to let caleb watch because they are too disturbing and i don't want him to get a twisted view of reality...or end up suffering from post traumatic stress disorder because he gets flashbacks of them when he's 25.

1) the doodlebops
2) the wiggles
3) yo gabba gabba
4) teletubbies
5) boo baa (i don't even know what the official title is of this but that's the noise that the crazy things make)

***********

though this posting sparked a little commenter's debate on the blog about "yo gabba gabba," i continually tried to give it a few more chances. but seriously, no matter what music group was behind the making of the show, i couldn't get past its kookiness. or DJ Lance for that matter.

and i present to you, the high kick:

until friday.

on friday the show featured a special guest. a fella that has been a part of my life since ben first introduced me to the movie orange county and i watched him jump over a bush in his underwear (not ben).

jack black.

it was hilarious! did anyone else see it? or even just the previews for it? his dancing makes me crack up in a way that very few things do. and then when he got his own special DJ Lance outfit & said, "i can't believe it FITS." that's classic material right there.

so even though my friends & family can't sway me to the dark side of a drug trip that is the essence of yo gabba gabba....for one day, jack black can.


get to 1:16. you won't regret it, i promise. for such a rotund fella, he sure can dance!

thanks for redeeming yourself, yo gabba gabba. but i can't promise i'll be tuning in on monday.

bitter. sweet.

today i made a couple of emergency phone calls.

today i said a couple of prayers.

today i cried a couple of times.

it's not what you think.

last night we made the decision to change things up with little leah.

change #1: soy formula.

change #2: new bottle, the expensive kind. (avent, in case you were wondering. this is our 4th kind of bottle we've tried with her.)

last night after her 1:30am bottle, she slept from 2am-7:30am. not only that, but after she drank the 7:30 bottle, she stayed awake for a while...without crying. for the first time in a long, long time. (well what feels like a long, long time) this had to be documented.

picture #1: 7 am

then.

after talking for a few minutes, she closed her eyes and went to sleep on her own. without me having to pick her up, rock her, wrap her, calm her. slept for 2 1/2 hours. that was when the emergency phone calls happened, i had to tell someone! i stared at her with bug eyes, coming into the room about every 10 minutes.

picture #2: 10am

then.

she woke back up, drank another bottle, stayed awake without crying, and went back to sleep on her own. for another 2 1/2 hours. she even opened her eyes for a second because of the flash of the camera, then close them again.

picture #3&4: noon

that was when the prayers started. prayers of thanks & gratitude, that even if this was just a fluke morning, i was so thankful that it happened!

then.

after being able to dedicate hours of playtime with caleb, he asked for the first time, if he could have a picture taken with his sister. she was still asleep, but i wasn't going to deny him this request.

picture #5: 3pm

then.

she woke up again, and smiled at me several times as i talked to her.
this was when the tears started.

because you cannot
taste the sweet without the bitter.
this is a lesson i have learned before and am learning again. i knew i would hold onto this moment just in case it didn't happen again for a while.

picture #6: 4pm
it's funny, i know. the red eye reduction flash makes her go bug-eyed. and a little cross-eyed.

she did get a little fussy around 4:30. but it was normal baby fussy, not her usual leah-ape-crazy-fussy. it lasted until about 7pm.

then. this.

picture #7: 8pm

i don't know if she's lactose intolerant, or if she just needed a higher-quality bottle.
or if God just answers prayers right when we need them answered.

whatever it is, i'm not changing a thing.

what a fantastic day.