regression.

binkie, bink, pacifier, pacey, nuk, plug.....

call it what you will.

neither of my children caught onto the "binkie movement." believe me, in those first 3 months of their colic & constant screaming, i tried. i fought the good fight of buying every brand of binkie i could find, and would try the trick of giving a couple of mylicon gas drops and-then-shove-the-binkie-in-as-fast-as-i-could technique to get them to latch on.

but when they just didn't want them, i decided to give up. i've seen many 4 year olds still sucking on a bink to make me not push the issue. let's be honest here friends, i judged.

also, many years ago we baby-sat overnight for some friends. the cutest baby girl who was a little over a year and easy as pie...until it came to staying asleep. over and over and over again she would wake up and cry, and ben or myself would stumble into her room to put her binkie back in her mouth and have her go right back to sleep.

finally ben's sleep deprivation couldn't take anymore. i woke up at 6am to find myself alone in the bed. wondering where he had wandered off to, i walked into the other bedroom to see poor ben asleep kneeling over the bed with his face resting on one arm and with his other arm stretched out, with one finger holding the binkie into place.

it was then that i vowed that my kids would never sleep with a binkie.

now, here's something awesome.

anytime i ever uttered those words, my kids will never...they ended up doing exactly what i so self-assuredly announced aloud as a not-yet parent that they would never do.

caleb was each of those my kids will never all bundled up into one little package. {thanks for the quick lesson in humility, buddy!}

oh my goodness i learned not to judge parents or their children.

anywho.

about 3 weeks ago i was cleaning out a whole bunch of stuff and leah was hanging out with me, making a mess of any attempt at organization i had. she found her old binkies, and popped one in her mouth. she walked around with it for almost an hour. i found it funny that she was now interested in it and thought i'd wait to see how long the fascination lasted.

well.

do these pictures give you any idea?







um, yeah.

ben thinks i am nuts and that it's ridiculous to still let her have it because he's worried that she's going to grow an attachment for it now, during a time when most parents are starting to wean their toddlers off of it.

but guess what?

i totally love it!

leah is not a lady of few words. she was an early talker and an even earlier shrieker. the girl loves to yell aggressively for no apparent reason whenever it strikes her fancy. sometimes it's cute, but more often than not it can be grating on the nerves and make phone conversations difficult. she yells at caleb if he's bothering her, or sometimes just looking at her wrong. she yells at the birds flying by outside the window and at her stuffed hippo whenever she feels the need.

so if there's a few minutes when i need a little bit of silence?

yep, i totally pop the binkie in her mouth. {i will give you the condensed version of my "mother of the year speech" later.} she is so funny because as soon as she's got the binkie she becomes all snugglie. she waddles over to her crib & snags her blankie and lays down on a "piwwow" {pillow} and is just quiet and content.

is this what i've been missing out on??? what was i thinking? binkies are magical! {only half-joking here.}

so yes i am letting my daughter regress a little bit back into her childhood. or infancy. or whatever.

i haven't let her take it to sleep, and we're still in a good place with the bink where she doesn't freak out if i take it out of her mouth.

so go on, judge me. i'm not ashamed.

but be careful what you say, karma comes back to bite!