cleansed.

there was a time in my life when, admittedly, i did not let myself think ahead to this day.  there was too much fear wrapped around it, and too much unknowing of what the future held in store for him.  it was a milestone like watching a first step being taken, and giving a kiss and a wave as i watched him march toward kindergarten, and seeing the gap in his smile after losing a first tooth, and all of those moments in between and after that i could not mentally or emotionally let myself believe would come to my fragile and sick baby, just in case they didn't.

but eight years later, just like those other milestones, this one came.  and we were surrounded with love, tears, and another glimpse of God demonstrating to us again just how special this boy is, because He was in the moments that made the day so beautiful.

God was there in the quiet silence and then swish of the water as it enveloped caleb's small body,  He was there in the hugs between a boy and his two parents as he dried off and dressed in his new suit and tie, and He was there in the confirmation blessing given by this boy's father, with words to bestow upon him a Gift, and to remind caleb again of his strength to not only overcome, but to be made a leader for good and holy purposes, if he chose it.  He was there in the song softly sung by caleb's little sister and grandma,  testifying of the piece of divinity that lies within him, the thread that can never be broken, because he is a Child of God.  He was there in the tears in caleb's grandpa's eyes and the promises spoken by the primary president and member of the bishopric.  He was there in the presence and hugs of loved ones who came from near and far to be there for this milestone.

 and God was there in another piece of this mother's healed heart.

these moments used to be stolen from me by fear, consumed with apprehension and what if's, but they no longer are.  as i watched my son reach the milestone of getting baptized, that fear was again replaced with intense gratitude and a love so remarkable that i felt as if i was being washed over with it from head to toe.


when caleb was cleansed, so again, was i.


it was a beautiful day.