Thursday, February 14, 2013

the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

{woke up to roses, truffles and a hand written poem...a throwback to several years ago, when all ben gave to me for "the day of love" was a card about skunks farting--and he didn't even sign it! this year he surprised me with traditional gifts, yet still managed to sneak the humor in.  totally my style.}

i kept starting new posts to try to come up with something creative related to valentine's day.  like last year, writing about the day we fell in love, before we even knew we had.  or love letters to my kids, or something equally exciting...but i'm drawing a blank.

i know there are a lot of skeptics about valentine's day, and for the most part, i'm not a high maintenance girl when it comes to celebrating this one.  even though they're great and appreciated, i don't need flowers and chocolates and expensive gifts.  it has been low-key for us partly due to our financial situation, partly due to ben choosing to work in a field that requires long--and often overnight--hours (especially on holidays), partly because we have three children...but also because we're both satisfied with the low-key.

i'm not a skeptic though.  there are plenty of days for skepticism.  i love celebrating this one, it reminds me how much love is in my life.  i know it is not a small thing, and not always an easy thing.  relationships are tricky, layered and complicated.  i know as my kids grow, these sweet and often sloppy kisses are going to become few and far between.  so, i focused on really spending time with them and for them today.

caleb may not remember how we read together and played outside this afternoon, or how he was hugged goodnight, then held by the cheeks while staring into his eyes and thanking him for what a good boy he is.  leah may not remember that she wore a valentine's shirt that was bought just for her because i know how much she loves hearts and to feel pretty.  she won't remember how many times she was helped in and out of the bathroom today or how she was given  4 different types of kisses (butterfly, eskimo, frog and bird) when she was tucked in (for the 10th time) tonight.  and june most likely won't remember how we shopped in the mall together today, sharing a pretzel and water while counting her fingers and pointing out other babies as they passed us by.  and when we heard one of her favorite songs, how we started dancing between the racks of clothes, while strangers watched.  she won't remember laughing as  she was being tickled on my bed and when i asked her for a kiss, she leaned over, making her "mmmmmuwah!" sound, and i took a picture to freeze this moment in time for me.

and ben may not remember that all 3 kids were taken to the grocery store right at dinner time (one of my least favorite things to do) to buy the food to make the amazing steak and asparagus meal that was cooked just for him.  or how we talked about how funny our kids are, and the crazy teenager he had to administer psychiatric testing on today.  how we lay in bed warm under the covers, looking at pictures of the dream house we want to someday build ours after, talking about the things we'd change and those we'd keep the same.

i try to close my eyes and take snapshots of these moments, to hold onto them so they can stay in my memory long after they pass.  but every day the sun sets and the moon rises and these memory snapshots fade.  these flashes of my life surrounded by four other people are what mold and create the feelings we have, the relationships that are continuing to form.

i hope today they could feel how much i love them.


Rachel Chick said...

You make me so happy, Lyns. You make me want to be a better mom and a better person. Thank you!

ohmylanta said...

And.....let's not forget that you have been blessed with the ability to write. Your documentation of the day to day will help remind you of those perfect snapshots!