who needs ben & jerry's?

our own delicious chunky monkey.

(isn't that expression hilarious? she was blowing me a raspberry.)

this morning.

this morning i woke up to the smell of the lovely scent of "kitchen spice" wafting through the air. bath and body works knows how to do fall scents, don't they? have you tried "leaves?" yumalicious.

this morning i overheard caleb singing, "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it! woah a oh, oh a oh oh oh!" in his defense (and mine) this is a song i solely sing to leah when i'm feeding her peas and she's refusing to open her mouth. it makes her smile and plop! in go the peas.

this morning ben came in to the room with a confused look on his face. walking kind of funny. turns out he'd put on a pair of my jeans by mistake. i was grateful that not only were they my "too big" pair, but they were snug on him.

this morning i insulted ben by saying i was grateful they were snug on him, because we were "quite a few pounds different." (i know that saying isn't really worded correctly but you get the idea.) so then he thought i was calling him fat. which is not at all true, i was trying to not call myself fat. and defended my grammatically un-correct statement by reminding him that i am about a foot shorter than him, and therefore should weigh "quite a few pounds different" from him.

this morning i insulted ben again because i also informed him that those jeans of mine were petite in length and that they didn't necessarily look like capris on him. that the length was quite fitting.

this morning i attempted to make up for my slew of insults by letting him know that the gap lived up to their claim. that those jeans of mine did, in fact, make him look longer and leaner. "oh wow, thanks." was his sarcastic reply. hey, i tried didn't i?

this morning leah didn't yet fit into the pants i had bought for her, so instead she crawled around in her baby thigh-high leg warmers. there's something unsettling about the word thigh-highs when discussing my now 8 month old lassie, but she sure looks cute in them. they squeeze the chunk of her legs so that when when you get to her diaper there's about an inch of muffin top chub spilling out over the sides. plus we like to make her dance to "she's a maniac" when she wears them and put it on the video camera. so funny.

and as for me?

this morning i am enduring a hangover from fair food. to specify, that is food from the fair, which we went to yesterday. check out these fries! and it was my first real attempt at eating fried treats. i wasn't sure how the deep fried twinkies would be but to my amazement they were absolutely spectacular. but due to the calorie overload yesterday i will be re-thinking my malibu barbie halloween costume. i think i'll go as her frumpy mother instead.




this morning i am loving the fact that the high is only 70 degrees today and that we're busting out the long sleeved shirts and pants. blessed be cooler weather!

the halloween spirit

tonight we carved a pumpkin and took some pictures. some of them turned out kind of spooky.

introducing, billy bob the jack o lantern (named by his big brother caleb)...




caleb's head on fire (showing off his demonic side)...



and caleb the ghost (whoooooooo)...


hope this is getting you in the mood for a freaky week.

bath time.

warning: you will see a cute baby bum in these pictures...watch out!

i don't know if there's anything that leah loves more than her night time bath. if she's in another room and hears the bath water go on, she squeals with delight and takes off crawling at warp speed to the bathroom.

and then....

it's S.P.L.A.S.H. time!

seriously, i have to put towels on the floor and make sure i'm wearing something akin to a wet suit because i get doused with her crazy splashing.

and after?

she loves crawling around in the buff
almost as much as she loves the bath.

that's pretty much our nightly routine. hope you enjoyed it!

wrap up on reality life

now that the show has wrapped up the final episode, i thought i'd share my thoughts on the past 8 months or so. in case you don't remember, this is how i looked when the show first started:

i remember sitting at the casting call, that my husband and sister had urged me to go to, feeling frumpy in my maternity sweater. it no doubt carried a stain on it, as did all of my maternity clothes by that time. i sat down next to a lovely lady wearing heels and gucci glasses carrying her portfolio (yes! i said portfolio!) with her. i felt

so. out. of. my. comfort zone.

as i drove home, i was proud of myself for giving it a go. this was not something i usually do, putting myself "out there" for pretty much anything. when i received an email to return for a 2nd interview, i was honestly shocked.

i sat around the table for the interview, surrounded by 8 beautiful and inspiring women. each had a story to tell. in the beginning they seemed so different from me, so hard to relate to. but as the hour went on we began to find common ground. not only that but i realized how much i genuinely liked each of them. i got so excited thinking about how much fun it was to meet them, and how it would be fun to watch any of them in the show.

i felt intimidated thinking about what in the world i could offer to them. the first 2 years of caleb's life were pretty much hell in motherhoodland. the seizures, the physical therapy, the specialists, the constant crying, the difficulty of it all. but since then i felt like we had worked ourselves into a pretty quiet routine. honestly? i felt like we were:

boring.

so when i received the phone call to participate in the show, i thought they had called the wrong pregnant girl. i felt nervous, intimidated, and completely insecure. but at the same time i felt extremely flattered and excited.

we started shooting about 5 weeks before i was due. i immediately felt comfortable with the group of people i met working on the show. they were so nice and patient with me. i have a tendency to ramble on when i'm nervous. and most of the time forgot the question i was asked. :)

5 days after the photo shoot for the show, this happened:

one of the 3 most important things in my life. leah was born, and my world was yet again changed. before the birth, i was extremely nervous to have anyone with cameras around me. but as i watched the birth episode i was so glad that i had agreed to it.

i also got the chance to vent about my colicky baby, hopefully helping other moms with hard newborns to not feel so alone. it was a difficult time, and again i was grateful to have been able to have the chance to be on the show to realize that i survived it.

now miss leah is 7 months old. not only is she crawling, but she is standing up and cruising along our furniture. it is such a complete opposite situation from caleb, who couldn't walk until the day after he turned 2. she is so happy and into everything!

ben is now in his second year of his doctoral program, working very hard and pulling out fantastic grades while keeping up a crazy schedule. i could not have done the show without his support and encouragement. caleb is a fun and healthy 4 year old who is a good big brother to leah and has an infectious love of life.

the Real Mom's Guide show has been such a fun experience and i have seen myself grow from it. i've learned to be less hard on myself, less critical of how i look, and more forgiving of my imperfections on the outside as well as on the inside.

i've loved getting to know dana, ida and vanessa. what amazing women they are! beautiful, fun, inspiring, funny, and REAL. it's been so much fun to get to know them and learn more about them. they have wonderful families and are amazing mothers.

a huge THANK YOU to Real Mom's Guide, to Mott's and to SheKnows! to all of the wonderful people i have been able to meet along the way (a special thanks to shay, i love ya!) it's been such a fantastic 8 months. and i can't wait to see season 2!

with love,

lynsey

proof that nearly bald babies can get bedhead too.

when she woke up with fluff everywhere i realized that i don't give her head enough credit.
i keep referring to her as bald and i guess she wanted to prove me wrong.





point taken!

RMG season finale episode!

hi there,

so the final episode of Real Mom's Guide was posted and it was fun to look back at the moments through the last 8 months. it's weird to forget that i was pregnant when this first started and leah is now 7 months old. so much has changed, and it's not just the hair. :)

i had a fabulous time, and loved getting to know ida, dana and vanessa. not to mention the great film and production crew. they were all so nice and patient and kind. (specifically kind when they didn't put my tears on the finale...much appreciated!)

so go on the website and watch the last episode. vote for your favorite moment on the show, and if you haven't become part of the Real Mom's Guide network yet, join up! they have fabulous articles, giveaways, and it's a wonderful network to make new friends and connect with women that are all dealing with the same issues that you are.

click here for the episode.

unintentional hiatus

hi there. remember me? the one who usually has too much to say?

i've been gone. if you haven't noticed. not intentionally....just....not much to say. i've been around, reading blogs, checking out what facebook friends have been up to, trying my darndest to figure out the twitter obsession (which i have yet to figure out). i've just been more quiet about it. aren't you grateful for a little break?

but i feel a post coming on. woo hoo!

and a post with pictures? double woo hoo!

the girl and her hat.

we are not amused!

well, apparently she was not. but we were.

half a year with leah layne

one week ago marked miss leah's 6 month birthday.

i'd like to say that the entire 6 months of her life she has been pure joy. but i try my best not to blie. (which is a word i just made up. blog + lie= blie.) i have loved every minute with her, even the difficult ones, and i do have to say that pretty much the last 3 months with her has been pure joy. the first 3 were kinda rough.

she is a happy, content, wild, curious, snuggly and independent little lady. you're wondering how i can combine content + wild and snuggly + independent? well obviously you haven't met her.

she loves to hang out on the floor with her toys and burst into spontaneous little songs. she likes to lick things. and i mean ALL things. the carpet, my nose, on sunday it was the metal legs on the chairs at church. and in case you missed my facebook status, has already shocked herself by licking our computer charger. oops.

she has an obsession with her toes. i think she is very proud of them. i don't blame her for this, and must say i feel the same way about my own toes. and hers as a matter of fact.

she is my yoga instructor. right now she is in downward facing dog position as i'm typing this, and every now and then pops her head up to smile at me. i'm amazed that at such a young age she has already found her inner chi.

she just officially started crawling yesterday, though she has been scooching around for over a month now. but i consider the real day yesterday, when she started coming a few feet toward me at a time.

several people have said to me, "ohhhhh, she's going to keep you on your toes. watch out, once she starts moving, she's going to be a handful!"

and they are right.

but some have said this in a negative way and i must kindly disagree. yes caleb was easier to maintain in one spot while he played with a circle of toys surrounding him, but i would have traded that in a second to have a baby who was mobile, who didn't have to have over a year of physical therapy and braces, who could walk before they were two.

in a second!

so i guess this is the trade off. i got what i asked for.

and am soooooo completely happy about it.

i'm looking forward to having to baby proof everything early, to having to save her life from the latest common household item that she has turned into a weapon, to kissing her bumps and bruises that occur from crashing through every room like a bull in a china shop.

maybe when she's two i might rethink this posting. but for now, ben and i just adore watching her mind work, her wanting to touch everything we touch and grab everything in sight.

though you might be tired of the endless picture of our little brown-eyed girl that is just too bad for you. since we are cheap and personally, i like candid shots a whole lot better than the professional ones (i can pick when they are in a good mood, fresh diaper, and in our own environment), i decided to catch the lady in action.

this is what she looks like 90% of the day...





5% of the day... (staring intently at something on the ground, or her toes)




and the last 5% of the day...





she was really good for me until she remembered that she now knows how to get from one place to the other and was more excited to achieve the goal of attacking the camera head on.



mission accomplished.

episode 23: the busiest part of the day

here's the latest real mom's guide episode about the busiest part of the day for us.

the next episode is the last one...and isn't supposed to air until october i think. (or so i was told) so i think they will probably show re-runs until then? not sure.

anyway, it has been fun experience and i have loved being a part of it.

watch the episode here.

episode 23: the busiest part of the day

here's the latest real mom's guide episode about the busiest part of the day for us.

the next episode is the last one...and isn't supposed to air until october i think. (or so i was told) so i think they will probably show re-runs until then? not sure.

anyway, it has been fun experience and i have loved being a part of it.

watch the episode here.

capturing a moment

they talked like this for about 10 minutes.




and just like that, siblings were born.

making the most of the mUnDaNe

i have been a little down.

and realize that this will be my 3rd negative sounding post in a row, so i apologize in advance. you think that would stop me from writing it, but oohhhhh no.

i will forge ahead.

because writing is my therapist, the free one that doesn't make me lay down on a couch and discuss my childhood. the one that just sits and listens as i vent and whine and complain about how things aren't going the way i had hoped, but doesn't say the words,

"you are such a baby!"

but instead, says nothing, and lets me figure out for myself that i am in fact, a total baby.

so.

this last semester of ben's school has been hard. he has pushed himself to the limit i think, working very hard at school (pulling out awesome grades, btw) and then working thurs-sun nights working overnight graveyard shifts. thinking about the schedule he has been pulling, i'm not quite sure how he's alive right now.

i'm grateful for how hard he is working, for the sacrifice he makes and the length he will go to make sure we are taken care of. i thank God every day that i have a husband who will do whatever it takes for me and for our children.

the semester has been difficult for me too though. i know, i know. comparatively, to ben, i should just keep my whining mouth shut. but just because he's had it harder doesn't make things much easier on me, you know?

we only have one car. again, boo hoo. at least we have one car. i know, i get it. but with only one car and ben gone so much for the past 3 months, we have been cooped up with a capital C. it's too hot to go outside without your face melting off, and the pool has been out because leah has been too young to wear sunscreen.

i've pulled out as many tricks out of my hat that i can think of. bringing caleb's tent out, letting him put a slide in our front room, buying new games, puzzles, crafts, you name it. and luckily it's kept him mostly happy.

so why am i so down?

well i guess, because i'm not so easily entertained by markers and a coloring book. i got out my paints again and tried to let the creative juices flow, but instead just sat there blankly staring. i read a book, and tried to avoid the t.v. for my birthday ben bought a treadmill so that i would be able to get the exercise i've been craving that i can't get because of the blaring sun outside.

however, because of the lack of space in our apartment, the treadmill had to go in our bedroom. where the baby sleeps. so you see the problem with that scenario.

so for my birthday present...before i knew ben was getting a treadmill, i asked to go away for a weekend. to get to cooler weather, and just be....

me.

whoever that person is. i haven't seen her in a while.

you saw how well that weekend panned out. i had desperately needed a break from my life and instead had returned disappointed.

but i tried to buck up, knowing that just a few days away from what i have now titled "standby nightmare 2009," i would be able to head out to utah. where even though i'd be traveling alone with my kids, i would be welcomed by cooler weather with open arms. and would be able to go outside, visit family and friends, get some much needed fresh air, and relax.

two days before i left, i began feeling sick. an insanely painful headache and sore throat. i tried to get rest, but was on my own doing laundry, packing, cleaning, and all that goes with planning an almost 3 weeks away vacation, and flying alone with two kids.

luckily, we made it through. even though on the plane ride there i thought my nose would explode due to the combination of clogged sinuses and altitude.

as we arrived in utah i was still not feeling well, but pushed through it so that we could make the most of our time there and spend quality time with family and friends. i wasn't sleeping well at night because i couldn't breathe when i lay down, and was sharing a room with my two kids so i had to smother my face into a pillow each time i coughed up a lung so that i wouldn't wake them up.

whatever, i deal with it.

then leah starts acting a little weird. not eating, runny nose. you know. there's a family party up at ben's house with people in town that i haven't seen and won't see for a long time, so even though i absolutely despise being the family that shows up with sick kids...we still go. (although, i want you to know that i did call ahead of time to let them know and ask if they still wanted us to come because i was fully prepared to stay home.)

the next day, leah starts throwing up. after the 3rd time, she just stops eating.

that night at dinner, caleb throws up.

i just can't believe my good luck!

we spend the next 3 days inside. me doing laundry non-stop, running up and down stairs, trying to not focus on the fact that i am playing the role of single parent yet again...which is pretty much how i've felt for the past 6 months. (did i fail to mention that ben wasn't in town yet? this was his finals week so he was coming out a week after us...just after the kids get all better. nice.)

and this is when i have to admit--i got a little ticked off.

i mean, seriously! every time we come to utah we get some sort of violent illness. last time caleb was throwing up every 20 minutes for about 7 hours.

so i'm sitting downstairs after both kids are finally asleep, feeling sorry for myself and wondering when i can get my identity back. i mean, i love being a mom, but sometimes i feel like

is this all there is for me?

and then i had a thought. i was glad it came at this moment because it stopped me from crying big baby tears about how i've lost myself amid vomit clothes, only having one car, being stuck inside for pretty much the last 4 months, and now being sick on vacation.

and my thought was,

the smallest, most mundane things
will be the most important for them.

i think sometimes i get stuck on the fact that we don't get to do all of these fun, fancy vacations. that i haven't had the opportunity to put caleb in swim lessons, or tumbling class, or soccer, or t-ball, like other families due to ben's crazy schedule and (again) only having one car.

i know that time will come, and am anxiously awaiting it, but right now just isn't that time.

so what are my kids going to remember about these past few months?

that i have been there.

day in, day out. through nightmares, poopy diapers, throwing up, tantrums, colic, constipation. you name it, we've probably experienced it.

as hard as it's been on my psyche to be cooped up and feel like the walls of our apartment are closing in faster than caleb can say, "i think i'm going to frow up," i am building a foundation for my children. something tangible, that they can count on. yes it's difficult when i feel like this is all i have been consumed with, but i'm grateful that i had this thought to remind me of what i am doing it for.

because i feel like that is the true meaning of unconditional love. being there through it all even when it's gross and makes you gag, or want to scream back at your toddler when he's screaming at you (even though you don't), or cry with the newborn who can't stop crying.

"through small and simple things are great things brought to pass..."

and the great thing that has been brought to pass these past 6 months?

my children. know. that i love them.

i think we can get caught up in all the things we aren't doing for them. or i guess i'll just speak for myself here. i think about that all of the time. how much easier it would be if we had money, or nice things, or more time, or live in a cooler climate, or had our own yard to play in.

but in the end, those things don't really matter most. sure, they can add to the experience. they can make things a little less stressful, or even just less boring.

i guess what i'm saying is that if all caleb remembers about being 4 years old is his love of macaroni and cheese or the tramillion stuffed animals he crammed in his tent every night to play "camp out," then i am satisfied. because i know that i have been with him through these things and have provided safety, stability and love.

so if you're at all like me and feel at times like you've been swallowed up in mommyville with not a lot of light for coming out anytime soon, try to remember that the most important thing you can do for your kids is just be there. and love them.

and that will make those mundane things have purpose and meaning. which makes it easier for me to get up tomorrow and do it all over again.