Wednesday, November 24, 2010

lynsey vs. the backyard. {subtitled: lynsey vs. the birds.}

we have waited a long time for a backyard.

almost 8 years to be exact.  

when we first saw this house and wanted to rent it, we saw that the backyard was going to need some work.  but really, what backyard doesn't?  especially in arizona, if it's been neglected for a few weeks {or in the summer, neglect it for 12 hours} it will need a lot of tender loving care to get it back in good shape.

but we were ready for it.  probably eager just because we were so excited we could actually say to our kids go play in the backyard, and pictured hours and hours of uninterrupted self-entertainment.


our first taste of just how much TLC it was going to need was when we seeded the lawn with winter grass.  {that's right, for non-arizonians, we have to plant grass twice a year here.  our soil is like a high maintenance girl from L.A. who needs continual botox injections just to keep things looking "fresh."}

within 24 hours we noticed that our backyard was COVERED in birds.  i'm talking like 50 or 60.  all over the place, eating our seed.  i developed a loathing for these birds that could only match my loathing for spiders.  well, it was almost there.  the arachnid loathing started about 20 years ago so its roots go a bit deeper.  {roots.  a grass pun.  heh.  i am awesome.}

about every 10 minutes i would have to run outside to the backyard and cause a ruckus, creating a mass hysteria of swarming birds.  i would cover my head and squeal as i ran inside amid feathers and squawks.  i get it, i looked like a doofus.  i've seen the movie "the birds."  i would slam the door only to see all of those evil seed-eating botards lining the roofs of our neighboring houses, just waiting for things to settle down.

alfred hitchcock would have been jealous, he wouldn't have even had to hire stunt birds.

as i would watch through the windows, it would only take a minute or two before several flew down to start going after the seed again.  as soon as the brave ones confirmed it was safe for the wussy birds, they would all do a group-swoop down onto our yard, covering every inch of open ground.

they were determined.

but, so was i.

these bird shenanigans were going on during the time that caleb was home sick with a high fever, and ben was gone on a camping trip.  so it was a solo mission for me, but by this point it was personal.  i was up for the challenge.

i tried putting a CD player outside and blasting loud music.  that didn't work.  i had been told by friends on facebook to try buying a fake owl, but i couldn't get out to the store.  i had also heard that others would put old CD's upside down on their ground so that the shiny side would reflect sunlight & scare the birds away.  well, i didn't have a bunch of old CD's, so i got creative.

i used dental floss and tin foil and strung lines up all over our backyard.

 yes, it looked awesome.  totally classy.

but, it worked....for the most part.

those birds were sneaky!  they would go to every spot in the yard that wasn't next to a piece of flying foil and just eat around the areas that weren't covered.  soooooo completely infuriating.

i eventually gave in, and went through my collection of CD's to see if there were any i could part with.  luckily i had kept almost everything from high school & early back to the days of SheDaisy, Hanson, and Heather Nova.  

don't you dare judge me.

so those became bird ammo to cover the patches of yard that weren't touched by the foil.  and luckily, with the combination of those two i felt we had won the battle.

but unfortunately i didn't realize that we were fighting a war.

soon i will post about the adventures that ensued this afternoon with the kids and i.  luckily it's a bird-free story, but it involves a new enemy.

lynsey vs. the weeds.


Em and Russ said...

I love your dedication to getting rid of the birds!!!! We had rabbits when we moved in to our new place so I can understand what you went through.

ohmylanta said...

That's great! Great story. I made my husband watch THE BIRDs with me on our anniversary night in a hotel. He is still bitter about it. Mostly because I went to bed all freaked out. ;)

Anyway..... just wanted you to know that my cd's are still flinging around in the wind and sending beams through all my neighbor's windows. Who ever gets bothered the most can come cut them down. HA HA