Wednesday, December 15, 2010

in my garden.

{yes these are all weeds in our backyard.  isn't that awesome? yeah...not really.}



i have been pruned.

i have been pruned for 30 years, to feel guilty over things that are not mine.
taking them upon myself to keep me in unhealthy situations for too long.

i have been pruned for 30 years, to feel guilty over things that are mine.
letting them weigh down my branches so that i will not rise to my potential.

i have been pruned for 30 years, to deflect compliments 
as if to say to those delivering them, "you do not see who i really am."

i have been pruned for 30 years, to hide in shadows 
so that the sun can never quite fully reach all of me.

i have been pruned for 30 years, to worry about whether i am accepted
so that my boundaries are weakened,
and my stem bows under the weight of those who 
sense my worry,
and take advantage.

i have been pruned by an invisible darkness
that enters the garden late at night
with sharp shears that cut and tear at what is built during daylight,
unbeknownst even to me.

who slithers around me
whispering un-truths to my heart,
to try to blacken its edges
so that i will forget the truth.

until i look around
and all i can see are broken branches,
withered leaves,
and dead flowers
laying on the ground at my feet.



but,


i have a gardener. 

a healer, a planter, a rebuilder.
one who will not let me die, if i can choose to hold on.

who will un-wrap the weeds 
that have tangled around my self-image,
to let the blossoms grow.

who will water and nourish
my broken boundaries
until they are strong and able to stand on their own.

who will turn me to the sun so that i can feel its warmth,
and see myself the way that i was created to be
and feel grateful.


who will tell me truths
to mend my heart,
and remind me
of why i am here.





so,

today i am choosing,

to say good-bye to the pruner
and start helping

my gardener.

8 comments:

Rachel Chick said...

Beautiful, Lynsey. I love you so much. You are truly a fabulous writer. Beautiful.

Lauren @ SuperMom Central said...

Lynsey! What an amazing poem! And what an amazing concept - thank you thank you thank you for sharing this. I am so honored to be your sister and have you in my life.

Love you,

Lar

Wheat Family said...

You have a gift of writing! Enjoy your day with the gardener.

ohmylanta said...

Amazing!

Aubrey and Jardan said...

That is beautiful, Lynsey! Thank you for sharing it.

Andrea said...

I don't even know what to say...it was beautiful and it touched my heart...just the way you do everyday. I love you!

Dana Broderick said...

that was amazing!!! I love this...it hit home. thanks for sharing.

Derek & Heidi said...

Wow Lynsey. I am so glad I stumbled across your blog a year or so ago. Since then you have warmed my heart and helped me remember the truly important things in life! And can I just, in regards to your post about feeling that you are beautiful, I've ALWAYS thought since I met you in high school that you were and are very, very, very beautiful!