Thursday, February 2, 2012

the moments that really make a marriage last.

before things get deep, let's have some fun, shall we?

i haven't blogged about my hilarious husband lately, but this is one that i just couldn't resist.  he's totally going to kill me for doing this, which is exactly why i'm going to....{young married folks, this is what marital bliss is made of.  humiliations galore.}


since having june, my post-baby hormone hair has been falling out in droves.  so instead of clogging up the drain with my nest of hair, as i'm shampooing and conditioning, i grab the loose strands and put them up on the wall of the shower.  YES I KNOW IT'S GROSS.  but then when my shower is over, i gather up the wall hair, and throw it away.  it's not fun for me either, okay?  but i do what has to be done.  cleaning out the drain of the shower is MUCH worse.  

the worst part is, every now and then i shower without my contacts in and am seriously, tragically blind without them.  so occasionally, when i can't see, i absentmindedly forget to get my hair off the shower wall.  STOP GAGGING, I GET IT.  and i feel badly about it, i do!  it's not on purpose! 

but of course, when ben happens to see my wall hair in the shower, he freaks out.  and makes sure to not only go on and on, but he leaves it there for me to see the next day.  {marital bliss, i tell you!}


ben is not mr. perfect himself.  every time he trims his beard over our bathroom sink he leaves his trimmings allllllll {imagine my hands sweeping around myself, indicating about a 4x4 foot square around me} over the counters and sinks.  without!  cleaning!  it!  up!  and he doesn't have the excuse of being blind as a bat like i do.  he can totally see the mess!  bleeeeech.  so of course, i do what i have to.  and go on and on about it, and leave it for him to clean up the next time he comes into the bathroom.  

well, there's the backstory.  

this morning:

i woke up, and walked in the bathroom to brush my teeth, when i saw this:

what is it??

oh, just the extension cord we use to plug in our outside christmas lights, plugged in and leading to the door of the shower.  

my fuzzy, just-woken-up brain tried to make sense of this.  ben is in the middle of writing his proposal for his dissertation.  he's been working hard, he's been stressed, he's been staying up all night.  my brain did its best to process.

.....he wasn't trying to.....contemplating......considering......

nooooooo....not ben.  he wouldn't.  couldn't!!

i didn't get to talk to him until around 2 p.m., when he had a break. 

"so, heeeeey," i said slowly.  "ummmm, what was with the extension cord in the bathroom?  right by the shower?  are you, you know {gulp}.....okay?"

he started to laugh.  "oh, yeah!  no, i finally came up with a genius way to trim my beard hair without getting it all over the sink and counters!  i hooked up my electric razor to the extension cord, and trimmed it in the shower!  before the water was turned on, of course.  great idea, huh??  now you won't complain anymore!"  

he sounded so proud of himself.  

"seriously ben?  what on earth??"  i was baffled.  

"yeah, what's wrong with that?"  

"well, i mean sure, it's a great idea.  it's just, um......can't you just clean off the counters and sink after you trim your beard???"  i laughed now.  i actually thought it was hilarious that this was his solution, even though i couldn't believe the lengths he would go to in order to not have to do a 5 minute clean-up job.  

"yeah, but now i'll never have to!!"  he was triumphant.  

"i was legitimately worried about you for about 30 seconds!!  i thought you had decided that writing your dissertation wasn't worth it, and you were ending things early!"  i tried to sound exasperated. 

"no, dear.  you'll know i mean business when you see the extension cord WITH a toaster plugged into it."

"you're such a dork!  i'm totally blogging about this!"  which i knew would ruffle his puffed up feathers. 

"oh, you'd better NOT.  no one will understand!  you and all of your lady blogger friends will make fun of me at your little book clubs, and girls nights.  why can't you write about the sweet things i do?"  he begged.

"because who wants to hear all of the romantic and sweet things?  it will just make those who don't have it so good, feel badly.  i want to be uplifting!  make them feel better about themselves!  THIS is the good stuff," i teased.

so, not only am i blogging about it, but this is what ben is facing in the bathroom when he comes home:

and when he asks why?

i'll tell him that i came up with the genius idea of vacuuming my hair before i shower so that i no longer have to clean it off of the wall.

outdone again, dr. strader.  outdone again!  

ahhhhhhhh.  marital bliss.


MandM said...

Ok. These psychologists are all alike. Mike trims his goatee over our sink and never cleans it off either!! Although, even with his doctorate he didn't come up with a clever idea to avoid the mess. Well done dr strader well done!

Christy said...

Is leaving trimmings something every man does?! That is an awesome story. Even more awesome than my husband sleeping on the couch last night because in another one of his sleepwalking episodes he poured a glass of water all over his side of the bed.

Brooke said...

Thank you. That is all I have to say. Thank you.

SusieQ said...

Shower wall hair AND beard trimmings that don't get cleaned up!!! We are living mirrored lives! Awesome.

K Harker said...

when you brought out the vacuum in the story I about DIED! Hilarious! I do the same thing with my hair on the wall, a lot less gross to take it off the wall than the grimy drain. BEST thing about our new house is double master bath sinks! Now I don't have to look at Cory's gross hair trimmings in my sink, if he doesn't clean it up it's in HIS sink, not MINE
! Love it! THanks for sharing this story.

Katie said...! This is like a glimpse in to my life! Hair on the tub wall, beard trimmings all over the bathroom counter.
Glad that we aren't the only ones that are a bit 'creepy' :)

Wheat Family said...

We share this SAME marital bliss! Haha way to top the extension cord!

ohmylanta said...

Love the story! and the pictures!

The house we are renting has the PERFECT arrangement for our blissful 13 year companionship.

It's Called HIS and HERS.

He gets his own little man bathroom to keep ridiculously tidy and I get my own bathroom to be a slob in.

He knew what I was when he picked me up.

Bec said...

I love the way you write and how immediately enthralled the reader becomes. I died when I saw the vacuum! Genius. SO fun seeing you today. I'm thankful for you!