of course knowing now that i can write, brings on a whole lotta writer's block.
i guess i could mention that i gave myself a panic attack about 2 nights ago. how? by reading the last section of "what to expect when you're expecting" to get a refresher on what's to come. it has been almost 4 years you know.
i am remembering why after i read it the first time i wanted to throw it in the trash. don't get me wrong, it definitely gets you prepared. but i personally feel that any book that has the words "gelatinous chunk of mucus" should be burned. there is informational, then there is crossing the line.
hands up in the crowd from anyone else who thinks the line was crossed?
my other favorite part of the book is when you're in labor, it gives suggestions of what you could do to "pass time." you seriously think i should be cleaning out my closet at a time like this? prepare a sandwich for the coach? good gracious. the man can take care of himself & better be packing some chocolate in there for the lady bent over as her body heaves in pain.
ben & i started out laughing as i was reading it aloud...then somehow the laughter turned to tears. as ben bawled, i tried my best to console him. okay maybe it was the other way around. at the heart of those tears came the realization:
I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.
i know that may sound selfish and lame. women do this everyday, right? one loony tune just did it eight times at once! i can do this, right? RIGHT???
as tears came down my cheeks ben asked me what he could do to help ease the anxiety. i told him to knock me out cold as soon as i had my first contraction, then drag my lifeless body to the car & have me checked into the hospital.
i know it is a dumb thing to be scared of. i completely realize that. i know this is a time of miracles and blessings amid the goop & pain. and i'm sure that once it's all over i will look back and say, "it wasn't that bad."
but heaven help me, i'm freaked out.
i know i shouldn't hit the bottle when i'm worried, but i just think there may be healing power in chocolate soy milk. as i reach for it in the fridge i am going to do my best to avert my eyes from the cottage cheese sitting in there, reminding me of the "gelatinous chunk" which is inevitably arriving in about a week and a half.
heaven! help! me!
16 comments:
That is so funny & I have my hand up because that comment about the blog is sooooo crossing the line. I was scared soooo bad before I had both kids. But nothing eases the pain like Barro's Pizza and DQ Mr. Misty's. I had them before and after giving birth...oh and a BIG old dose of epidural :) just be happy you don't live in the old day when they put a dirty old stick in your mouth and said push.
okay I said blog but I meant "blob"
Ok Lyns,
I laugh at your pain, only because I totally know what you're feeling. Rest assured, it's totally normally to have some freaking out prior to pushing a large object out of your body! You will do great! Really...it will be better this time! And don't listen to that nurse if she tries to tell you that baby isn't coming when your body knows otherwise! Nobody knows what you're feeling but you! Take some deep breaths...you CAN do this! Love ya!
BTW, don't leave again! I get lonely when I can't stalk your blog everyday! lol
So glad you are back!! And once again you did not disappoint. Your postings are so funny and I feel for you on the anxiety. I remember being about 5 months preggo leaving a store with my mom and all of a sudden I stop and grab her arm and said (rather loud) "What if I have a C-SECTION! I don't want THAT!" My mom told me I would be fine and sure enough I HAD a c-section and miraculously enough I was fine (scared out of my mind but fine nonetheless). Anyhoo, can't wait for this babe. Glad to see you posting again.
Okay, first there is a book called "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" that is hilarious and you will so enjoy and pass a few hours of these last few days. Second, you are going to do great. Not only great, but amazing! You are going to deliver this baby, your husband will be right by your side, and you are going to do this....then, you will hold that sweet little angel in your arms and wonder what the heck you were worried about. It will be the cutest, tiniest, most perfect baby you have ever seen and all your cares will melt away in to its eyes. It is going to be amazing so stop worrying and start thinking of how grateful you are for this miraculous opportunity and how amazing your body truly is. What a blessing! You are great and you are going to do great!
Was that too much for a first date?
Freaking out is totally normal, but don't forget that giving birth is normal too!! Your body is made for this. Relax and let it do it's job!! You will do great!
Lynsey you will do great. Just think this soon will pass. No I totally understand that worry, good luck with everything. I just say make sure that epidural is close by, so when it get really bad you can take that, and then maybe somewhat enjoy giving birth. If there is such a thing. GOOD LUCK!!!
I think we should campaign to have the words "mucus plug" and all related terms banned from all pregnancy books. It's just plain cruel.
Although, I remember thinking - "Sure, it's gross, but my "plug" coming out will be the least of my worries". Let's also ban words like "voiding during labor" and "tearing of the soft, connective tissues".
Hmmmm - not to freak you out or anything.
Dont' worry! I'll be there with Soft Batch cookies in hand, ready to ease your pain.
AHHHH!!! Loved that post-I had those same feelings with Dallas and to this day, I don't want to do it again....even though I will and I want more kids.
Oh Boy-heaven help us all!
Glad you're back in cyberville.
OH YAY!! You're back!
It's totally normal to be nervous. To me, it's like riding a roller coaster (which I totally hate) Once you get strapped in and it starts, there is no turning back. Just hold your breath and close your eyes and soon it will all be over! :) You can do it!!
OH that's funny, I was just reading about labor and delivery in a book too and was like... uh forgot about THAT... and THAT... and was totally scared again too. AHHHH!!! We can do it!
Hey Lyns, so I'm assuming Lauren will be close by? If so, I think thats one of the greatest things you can do, having another female in the room who can tell the staff exactly what they need to do. For some reason they don't believe the laboring woman, or their unknowing husbands. But when your experienced sister tells the whole unit you're feeling pressure, and about to have a baby- they listen and come running.
If I'm wrong, and you don't have Lauren or your Mom? coming, you can call me. I'll boss them over the phone. You know me- never afraid to do some bossing.
The good news is- once the labor starts, its a count down to having your baby out. Nothing like stomach sleeping, and improved bladder control.
We'll keep you in our prayers. I get nervous with each pregnancy and delivery and actually I have Ryan give me a blessing, which always helps!!
Matt and I are laughing out loud at this entry - I make comments almost once a day about starting over again with a newborn and everything that goes with it, and he usually responds, it's too late to change it, so don't worry about it. SO consoling. I feel the same way about parenting books - I think they will be helpful and reassuring, and they always stress me out. Just focus on how uncomfortable you are, and then the childbirth won't seem so bad. Good luck!
Post a Comment