blasphemy & about to P.O.P!

anyone notice what is wrong with this picture???

if you guess correctly i will ship you a bottle of cocoa butter lotion about 3/4 full. but don't bother using it to prevent stretch marks, we all know how well it doesn't work. you'll have to find some other use for it.

so if you guessed that the problem with the picture is that the product is marked "unsweetened" then you are.......

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!

i have two of these cartons sitting in my fridge collecting dust. you can imagine my disappointment when they showed up...via ben with good intentions...i actually tried tasting it & then adding sugar. big mistake. but it was a desperate moment.

in a word, this "unsweetened" mess is blasphemy. blasphemous i tell you. dramatic much? possibly.

but according to wikipedia, and i quote,

"Blasphemy" may be used by extension to describe any display of gross irreverence towards any person or thing deemed worthy of exalted esteem."

and isn't almond-flavored chocolate milk worthy of such exalted esteem? well i for one say it is. so now i'm not quite sure what to do with this sacrilege just chilling in the fridge.

on another completely different note...

here are the 37 week stats & a little photo for your enjoyment/mocking pleasure.

yes it is official, i am huge. and i'm feeling it. and what? is that a stain on my shirt? several actually. thanks for noticing.

wt. gain this month: um, i lost 4 lbs when i got sick a couple of weeks ago and then gained all 4 back so you do the math.

wt. gain total: 20 lbs. now let me just say for you ladies getting riled up (stacey! :) , let's just put this out there. i am 4'11". everyone gains different weight during pregnancies. i was no stick to begin with, so i'm feeling like this is just about right for my height/pre-preg weight. my doctor did ask if i was eating and YES, i am. i get really bugged with girls who don't eat when they're pregnant because they don't want to gain weight. on that note, i will help myself to a bowl of icecream in just a minute.

complaints: my BP shot up a bit this week, which is making me a little nervous. this happened last time & then all of a sudden i wound up on bedrest because i was at the level of having a stroke. not too concerning yet, but just keeping a close eye on it. also i had these crazy painful contractions for about 4 nights in a row, starting at 12am & ending at 6am. i kept trying to sleep during them but i would wake up because my back hurt so badly & my face was on FIRE! there were some serious hot flashes going on.

cravings: well i'm pretty sure i used the words "blasphemy" and "sacrilege" above. that should give you an inkling as to what i am most passionate about lately.

so there you go. i'm a little past 37 weeks and yet still can't believe that i'm going to have a baby. i will save ben the pleasure and diagnose myself with "denial." it still just feels surreal to know we'll have a newborn in about 3 weeks.