so it's not a secret that bloggers are a dying breed. well, some of them aren't. the famous ones with a bajillion followers that might be making a small income and are writing books and such, i'm sure they're around to stay.
but little by little, i've seen a lot of my personal friends dwindle off their blogs. and i admit that even i have done this. not because i've wanted to, i am still living life as a continual blog post, thinking through scenarios and creating words to write to make them come alive. but what i am lacking is time, in a serious way. ben is gone almost every night, and i've worked out a system so that every night, each kid gets about 30 minutes of one-on-one time with me during our bedtime routine. once they're in bed, i clean up the house and then i start in on writing articles and doing video blogs for my work, usually around 10 pm. at some point ben comes home, we fill each other in on the details of our day, and i go to bed around midnight or 1 a.m. and by that point, my brain is fuzzy and fried and the words have mushed together and are no longer creative, or funny, they are just words that no longer form into coherent thoughts.
i miss blogging, i miss writing in a way i can't describe.
blogging has been my space to record some of my most insightful thoughts, some of my most painful memories, some of my most fearful moments as a young mother, and some of the most blessed and rewarding minutes of my life. it has helped me to remember, to be both introspective and keep my perspective. to look at this past journey of 5 years and see my own spiritual, mental and physical evolution. recorded moments of my children that i would have never really focused in on otherwise.
i have heard the phrase "live in the moment" so many times, and how some mothers have expressed that blogging has taken away from their ability to do this...because it is time-consuming. or time wasting. but i completely disagree. everyone chooses to "waste time" somewhere....television, music, reading, exercise, sewing, shopping, eating, traveling. any of these things can be a waste of time if they are not enriching our lives somehow.
so blogging taking away from my ability to live in the moment? it has done the opposite for me. it has heightened the good and the bad, the beautiful and the heart-wrenching. as crazy as it sounds, colors are richer, and emotions are deeper because of it. because i am constantly aware of what is going on in my little life, constantly snapping pictures, remembering phrases and looks and tiny details, down to the very eyelashes of my children. like when i'm walking into a room to find leah randomly sitting with a piece of cheese on her face, a moment i would have laughed at but most likely not have reached for the camera.
or hilarious exchanges with ben that otherwise would have been forgotten. or moments where i feel love so deeply for these 4 people in my inner circle and i can express it without just feeling it and having the moment gone the next minute. and i am so glad that we get to have these recorded moments of our lives that are passing by too quickly.
last night i went through our private blog, the one i started in 2007 while we were living in north carolina, working living and working at a group home with a load of crazy teenagers and an even bigger load of adventures that nobody in their right mind wanted to have. not only did i read about our surreal experiences there, but i also read all of the hilarious and supportive comments of my blogging friends around the world. and yes, i can say world, because one of them lived in korea, and one in china. :)
and you know what? i missed it. nope, not the group home, not for a second. what do you think i am, insane? what i missed was that connection with my friends and family through writing down experiences.
i also miss my friends. yes we have facebook and can follow each other on pinterest, but for me it's not the same. and it's not just because i love to write, though i do. it's why i was an english major in college for a year. but i also miss it because i love to read about my friends. isn't there something odd about how now most blogs that i read are complete strangers? there's something amazing about that too, don't get me wrong. reading the words of someone who i have never met and they just get me in a way that even i can't describe myself? it's so fulfilling. and there are some blogging friends who i've never met but actually consider and call my "friends" because of the back-and-forth exchanges we've found through blogging.
but with my friends, who now live spread across the country... i guess when this all started, this blog rage, i had romantic visions of all of us growing old together, blogging about our children's high school graduations, and weddings, and grandchildren, and retirement, and adult diapers. i may or may not have envisioned myself laying in my bed at the old folk's home, with my dentures next to my computer, my arthritic fingers slowly typing about the featured split pea soup for lunch, and how my body is falling apart but my brain and spirit are still alive, wondering what heaven will be like and being able to still reach across the virtual world to find a connection with a loved one who is not sitting in that lonely, sterile room with me, making me feel so much less alone.
a couple of weeks ago while i was at work, we were talking about how blogging seems like it's going out of style. like it's sooooo 2007-2011. suddenly pinterest emerged, and blogging became the red-headed stepchild, the neglected one, the less exciting, less thrilling, less crafty one.
not a good move for me, career-wise, seeing that i was hired as their company blogger. hmm.
but where did we go, friends? is it because i've been seriously lazy about commenting lately? if you think no one is listening, are you quitting? are you too busy? or is blogging really dead? or just for those few left who have become/are trying to become successful through theirs?
well, to that i say NAY.
in my best kirsten-dunst-acting-like-marie-antoinette voice,
to that i say
"LET THEM STILL BLOG!"
so how about this.
i'll blog if you will.