Tuesday, May 22, 2012

raising a child with special needs.

here's a video ben and i recorded for my work,
talking about some of our thoughts and struggles while raising caleb.

there were so many extremely difficult moments during those first few years,
and so many rewarding moments. it's something i've written about many times,
but for some reason when i talk about it, vivid memories come flooding back to me.

i know there are many others out there, several of my own friends,
who have children who are struggling.  whether it's physically,
behaviorally or emotionally, it's something that can be hard to face as a parent.

personally, being a mother to caleb has been a journey.  i fought bitterness for a long time,
feeling like i somehow missed out on the motherhood that all of my friends and family had talked about.  i felt overprotective and worried that others thought i was crazy at times,
but i also knew that i was the only one who knew my son.  i tried to find a balance between
treating him like he was different....and treating him the way ne needed because i knew that he actually is different.

i'm still working on that balance, and so is ben.  we try to put our own fears aside
when making decisions about caleb.  i push away my worry about the past,
ben pushes away his fear of the future.  and we do our best to live in the present, and the
reality of what caleb is facing now.

being a parent isn't easy, and being a parent of a special needs child is even less easy.

but there is nothing like the bond that i have with him, and like i say in the video,
i wouldn't trade one moment that i've had with him.


5 comments:

Rachel Chick said...

I loved your video. I think you two are amazing. So good. Truly, I am so honored to call you my friend. I love you.

----Also, I watched your other most recent video . . . I laughed. So. Hard. You are the coolest.

Jessica Marie said...

Great video. I have a nephew with Autism and his parents have had to do a lot of adjusting. It is hard for those of us who aren't experienced with those with special needs because we don't know exactly what to expect. I finally had to ask questions like "when he behaves in this way, what would you prefer my response to be?" and "what is the best way I can help him in this situation?" I think that open and honest dialogue is probably the best thing to help our society overcome it's false preconceptions of special needs children and adults.

ohmylanta said...

Love the video Lyns. It is fun to see you and Ben together. (especially since I knew you both in High School) It is a good reminder that parenting is a team effort. Thank Goodness!

And. You are so beautiful! Gorgeous I tell you. Gorgeous!

*and I laughed my guts out over your tanning video. You are a doll!

Lauren Horsley said...

U guys are my heroes, seriously. I am so grateful that the wonderful and amazing little man Caleb is came to parents as wonderful and amazing as you. All three of you are a blessing - to eachother, to me and to the world.

Love you sis,

Lauren

Emily Holden said...

Thank you for sharing! After our experiences with Andrew I've felt very alone in the the special ed world...funny because I taught in that field for years. A whole new perspective as a parent. I appreciate your words and it's good to realize that others have felt the same. You are amazing! THANK YOU!!!