Thursday, July 23, 2009

hold your breath...wait for it...

this morning, for breakfast, i had a bowl (well--truth? it was 3/4 of a bowl, but still) of this:

i actually crossed off a new year's resolution for 2009! i haven't set new year's goals for many years because i think they are crap. why do i need to wait for the new year to come around to set a goal?

but this year, i changed. and here i am, almost 9 months in.

(that's me crossing it off my list)

but aside from accomplishing it, here is my opinion of it. i will interview myself.

ahem. is this mike on? testing. okay.

q: so....did you like it?

a: about the first 3 or 4 bites weren't bad. but then, it got a little gooshy. which was my whole reason for not liking oatmeal in the first place. i am a texture lady, and don't do 'goosh.' (which also included in the 'goosh' department is: guacamole, any type of bean...except green...bananas that are too ripe, soggy bread--the biscuits 'n' gravy type-, the list could continue, but i will not.)

q: who witnessed the event?

a: my supportive husband, ben, who made me the bowl, and my two children. leah, who wasn't too concerned about the whole ordeal (she was preoccupied with her toes at the time--but who can blame her? those are some cute piggies) and caleb, who was equally grossed out (seeing that he has inherited the texture sensitive gene and used to throw up his own bowls of oatmeal as a wee one). however, i did end up having to move around a bit because as i surpassed the 4th bite, my 'goosh' radar went off and i started making some unpleasant faces. this doesn't help my goal for 2012 to get caleb to eat a bowl of his own oatmeal.

q: previous to this morning, when was the last time you consumed a bowl of oatmeal?

a: i think it was somewhere around the age of 12. maybe 14. but "consumed" is a word that would have to be used somewhat loosely. because i was a tricky tween. i used to just lie and say that i had finished the bowl, then quickly dump it down the drain and turn on the disposal when my mother wasn't looking. she caught on to that in about a day.

so my next tactic, i must say, was ingenious. i used to pour myself an enormous glass of milk, and would take small sips as i would pretend to eat my oatmeal. but when others weren't looking, i would drop the spoonful of oatmeal into the cup of milk. by the end of the meal, i would have eaten probably 1/4 of the bowl, and the rest would be smushed into the cup of milk. and then i would dump the milk down the drain.

q: wow. you are very clever.

a: is that a question?

q: no. but do you have anything to say for yourself, or to your mother (who was only trying to give you a good square meal for pete's sake)?

a: yes. i apologize mom, for deceiving you. it was gooshy, and i was weak. please forgive me.

q: so when is the next time you plan on eating another bowl?

a: well, if i don't need witnesses this time, then probably in 2012, when i eat another heaping bowl with a fake smile in order to get my son on board. if i do need witnesses to attest to the fact that i ate it again, then how about tomorrow? just as long as i can have a big glass of milk to go with it. i get thirsty, you know. ;)

***below i am re-posting the actual blog about setting this as a resolution for 2009. just in case you missed it.


ohmylanta said...


I am going to leave a short little comment just to see if it posts properly. I have tried several times to leave you an nice lengthy comment but your blog tells me there is an error and it erases! It's such a bummer. So here is goes. Ready .... set....

lynsey said...

i don't know what's happening! my cousin said the same thing--that she was posting comments but there was an error. dang blogspot! send me an email if it doesn't go through, if you'd like. :)

ohmylanta said...

WhoaLa! It worked. I did have to jump through an extra little hoop - wierd. Anyway, I have been reading up on your posts(even though my comments haven't always gone through). I love your posts. You are so creative.... who thinks of posting a personal interview? Hilarious!!

Lets see if I can comment on several posts all in one....

First of all: Isn't cream of wheat just as healthy as oatmeal? Do you like cream of wheat? Is your objective to get Caleb eating it, or to eat healthier yourself? (I eat raisin bran everyday - I've even justified tossing a TBS. of sugar on top!) oops.

Ok - secondly: I think most women can relate to the self image issue. Don't you? Maybe not, perhaps there are confident women out there. If there are, I am not one of them. This is something I have ALWAYS struggled with! ISn't it ridiculous how we let grade school comments stick. You may not know this but when we were sophmores, I had plastic surgery on my ears because I had been called "dumbo" constantly in elementary and junior high.

and further more, isn't it sad that the society we live in has put such an emphasis on being thin that so many of us are left feeling ugly!? This is surley a problem that many of us face (especially after having kids) I totally understand your feelings on this subject because I struggle too. Although, it is so interesting for me to hear it from you because I think you are SO beautiful (emphasis on the So) :)

I guess it just goes to show that you never know who may need a self image boost. Which leads me to my next point (this is getting lengthy huh!) I have had many people tell me that they think I have a low self esteem. I think they are nuts.... here's my take: Low Self Esteem and Low Self Image are Two Seperate issues. For instance: a person with low self esteem doesn't feel like they are good at anything, doesn't feel like they have talents or abilities to contribute ect. A person with a low self image just struggles with being happy when they look in the mirror. Am I right here? (boy, I should do a post on this subject - I obviously have enough to say about it)

So.... I think you are right on with your goal!! Good for you - and Ben is right... you know...... others see you as a very beautiful person inside and out.

Wheat Family said...

Yeah for leaps and bounds you took to reach that oatmeal goal! Great interview, you are a magician to make oatmeal go away so quickly! I personally love lucky charms, Raisin bran with CLUSTERS -you gotta try that one- though I am a cereal junky, oatmeal isn't on my list of favorites either. Which reminds me...what do you put on your oatmeal? I only put brown sugar, no milk!! It becomes soggy.

Keep on checking off that list girl!

kedwards said...

I too have a hard time eating gooshy things. People think that its weird, but they just don't understand us. Good to know I'm not alone out there. :)

K Harker said...

you're funny! I actually like oatmeal. My mom called me her "oatmeal baby" I'd eat a large bowl a day for, who knows how many years. But it can only be made my way. First try the old fashion oats (less gommy) then add lots of cinnamon and sugar (not as healthy but it's a start) eat it with buttered toast and orange juice or milk (i'm not a milk fan so oj it is) Yay for an accomplished goal and good luck in 2012! :)