Sunday, May 17, 2009

celebrating LIFE

yesterday was
caleb's 4th birthday.

i wish i could say the words "i've loved every moment of the past 4 years," but if i'm being honest, i can't. what i can say is this:

i've loved him every moment of the past 4 years.
and that is the truth.

from the moment i saw that positive pregnancy test i knew that my life would never be the same. i just had no idea what an understatement that would be.

i have spent the majority of the past 4 years worrying.

worrying about his past...should i have made other choices for him when he was a baby? been more relaxed, been more protective, given him the medicine, not given him the medicine, pushed him harder physically?

worrying about his he strong enough? smart enough? am i doing enough? am i too hard on him? do i need to be more strict? do i need to let go more? why is he so bossy?

worrying about his future...will he grow up to be a good kid? or end up in a group home? will he be kind to others, stick up for the underdog? will he be the underdog? is he ever going to get taller?

and so, i made a decision. for one day out of four years, i wouldn't worry.
i would just celebrate.
celebrate the life of a boy who has stolen my heart in a way only he can.

favorite color (s): yellow, green and brown. in that order.
favorite number (s): 8 & 10.
loves: his bear, green, apple, warm, warm georgie. music. instruments. dancing. singing. reading. running. coloring. painting. cucumbers. cheese. strawberries. cantelope. making people laugh. sweet pie. mom and dad. animals, but not scary ones like snakes and bats. listening to books on cd. family home evening. playing candyland and chutes and ladders. wrestling with dad. riding his bike. friends. balloons. bubbles. making up stories with mom. watching shows. puzzles. practicing letters and numbers. picking flowers for mom. picking out cool sticks for dad. getting packages in the mail. being happy.

the celebration: normally i am the low-key mom when it comes to birthdays and holidays. (secret: low key really means "lazy and unprepared") but not this year. i realized how much i wanted this day to be special. for him. so once he went to bed, ben & i got to work. i hung signs and blew up so many balloons that i thought i might pass out. but once i saw his face in the morning, it was totally worth it.

ben made the cake again. and once again, outdid himself.

for those who missed it, here was last year's cake:

and this year's cake:

we celebrated with a party, inviting caleb's friends for swimming and pizza. we were so grateful to those who came, many of them drove a long distance.

we are also grateful for the family members who sent packages for him in the mail and made phone calls, letting him know that he is important to them.

and did his birthday wishes come true? i'll say they did.

(kanien, i found it on ebay for $16.95 + shipping)
it's a toy violin that plays like 15 songs & makes him feel really cool. nana sent him a golf club set along with a toy guitar (thank you!) so both of his birthday wishes were answered.

there are multiple reasons why i love caleb. he has a kind heart. he loves to make us laugh. he adores his dad. he cries when i get hurt. (i have to hide it when i use band-aids because when he sees one on me it sends him through the roof.) he is spirited. he has an inner strength that inspires me. he loves life.

and so we celebrate him. the good, the bad, the extremely hard, the rewarding, the draining, the inspiring.

we love you, buddy. more than you'll ever know.


Garry and Mindy said...

how sweet! It is so fun to see how he has grown up so much! Garry told me last night not to worry so much. ya right, I thought! I love the cake(s)!

ohmylanta said...

Wowzers! Is Ben really the cake maker in your house? That's impressive! If my hubby was on cake duty I'm not sure they'd look edible.

Well..... I take that back. Last year he made me a German Chocolate cake - he tried SO hard to make it perfect. It literally took him ALL day!! Hilarious.

Some day Caleb will really appreciate those fantastical cakes! He is sure a handsome boy ...and as far as your worrying goes...... knock it off! He is part of your (and Ben's) genetic pool - he'll be a fabulous kid. You two have such great personalities so he can't help but turn out great. THough, he does look quite natural with that violin. He could be one of those fun, goodlookin, musical hearthrobs! (you know, like Donny Osmond) Hmmmm!

Dana Broderick said...

thanks for inviting us. we had a great time. caleb is such a sweetie! what a beautiful post to him. i'm sure he loves his violin!!

Marci Ward said...

What a beautiful post. I was so excited when I saw the violin! way to go being a super prepared mom on his birthday! And can I just say...Ben deserves an award for those cakes...the are so amazing, period, but to know that it was the man of the house that went the extra mile and did all of that...amazing. way to go! i dub you parents of the year!

Brian & Chelsey said...

How fun! He is such a cutie!! Glad he had a great birthday!!! and wow! what a cake! maybe i could hire Ben to make them for me?! :) (i am horrible and not at all creative with that kind of stuff!)

The Pyne's said...

again you have outdone yourself!! After I read your posts, I then realize all the things I don't do as a mother....and I think "how come I don't do those kinds of things, or why I am not that kind of a mother, or why am I so lazy and don't teach my kids anything, and how come conner doesn't have any friends?!?!?" and then I answer my self and say, that's because I have issues (including health problems, anxiety, panic attacks, depression to name a few) and I just hope my kids don't turn out bad or are going to be geeks!! Here's hoping for the best!

Happy birthday caleb!! WE're glad your wishes came true!!!

Angela said...

Happy Birthday Caleb! What a cute kid! And you two are amazing parents. I learn so much everytime I read your blog! Thanks for sharing!

Mick and Tiff said...

Happy Birthday to Caleb. What an adventurous road he has been on in this short time.

Love those cakes from the talented Ben.

Shellee said...

Awwwe. Happy birthday!

Lauren Horsley said...

You need to call me right now and tell me the one thing he wanted that he did not get and I don't care if it's an ELEPHANT, I will have it on your doorstep pronto.

I'm so glad you did something fun for his birthday and he is ADORABLE with that Violin! Caleb is truly a little angel on earth and I'm sad we couldn't share this special day with him but we send our love (our sucky, belated love) across the miles and will keep the party rollin' with a birthday package that will knock his tiny little socks off.

Joel and Carrie said...

How awesome are those cakes? birthday is this summer and I love Yo Gabba Gabba...just sayin.

Happy Birthday Caleb!!

Doug and Tiff said...

those cakes are awesome!! your kids are so stinkin' cute!! Happy Birthday to Caleb!!