Thursday, March 12, 2009

the 2 week curse

it started yesterday.

i held my breath, hoping i was wrong.

i am not a hopeless romantic, thinking that there are perfect babies out there who never cry. babies cry. they cry when they're hungry, or need something they can't express in any other way.

but this is different. this is a cry of pain & discomfort. it causes her to wake up 15 minutes after being totally knocked out & in dreamland. wake up with an inconsolable scream and then continually go up in volume until she is held...just the right way.

at her 2 week appointment yesterday, she is back up to her birth weight which is awesome. i asked the doctor about her increase in fussiness and he says, "well if you're nursing you will want to go off of all dairy, chocolate and any caffeine."

and it starts.

i think back to almost 4 years ago, where the same inconsolable cry brought me to a diet of basically bread and apples. i couldn't eat any green vegetables, dairy, chocolate, spicy food, acidic food. where i lived my life strapped into a snugglie and paced the floors for hours at a time. great for shedding that pregnancy weight, but that's pretty much all it was great for.

but no amount of change in my diet stopped his screams. gas drops, the happiest baby on the block, babywise. nothing stopped the crying.

how is it that i'm told that what is natural, what i can offer these babies, is best...when i just feel like i am poisoning their little stomachs?

as i shopped the aisles tonight searching for the right formula i had a feeling of dread. i don't want to do this again. i don't want to become so sleep deprived and more importantly, peace deprived, that i resent this beautiful child.

i will start pumping tonight, giving the formula 2-3 days to tell us if that was the problem. if i was the problem. and truthfully, i hope that it is me. because that is a quick fix. i am willing to switch over to formula and fork over the cash if that is what will help her to feel better.

but if that isn't the problem, then heaven help me.

ben looked at me and said, "well, let's strap ourselves in for the ride."

and as i type this with my hormonally-charged tears in my eyes, i'm thinking to myself, "but what if i can't do this again?"


Mike and Jenny said...

I'm gonna email ya Missy with some tips that can hopefully help. My second babe was horrible due to health issues too. You have the strength even when it seems all is gone. I will pray for you all!! Good luck!!

Dana Broderick said...

I so sorry Lynsey! So hard! I wish I had some great advice. It seems like all my babies have been really fussy at some point. I remember my mother in law coming and rocking their fusses away. I know that sounds like funny advice but sometimes with a new born it gets frustrating to rock and rock but they need the human contact and I'm always feeling like I have so much more to do...clean the house, help older brother, etc, etc. Good luck! It's a really hard time...if you need to chat, give me a call. :)

Jenny said...

Hang in there, just remember it gets better. I hope that it works for you

garrettandbritt said...

I think every mom feels the same way with every new child. Hopefully it is just what you are eating, and if the formula works use it. Both my boys were raised on formula and have turned out just fine. Hang in there, what do they say. This to shall pass!!!

Rachel H. said...

I am so sorry---

hoping it's the formula. At least it would be free through WIC and WOULD be a quick fix. HOPING, HOPING, HOPING. Hang in there! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

The Pyne's said...

oh lynsey.....I'm so sorry. But I have a feeling that it's not going to be anything serious. And if it is I KNOW that you CAN do it!!! Again we are never given anything we CAN'T handle. Even though I swear sometimes I can't take it anymore we still all make it through. For conner rolled eric off the top step of our stairs as I came around the corner to see my little baby tumbling down the stairs. I was pretty upset. Sometimes I wonder what in the world I am going to do with Conner. Anywho, when I first saw your post, I started thinking you had gotten another case of Mastitis. Which I was greatly unlucky with eric and got it twice. So wishing you the best of luck and keep up all updated!!!

Brooke said...

Good luck! I hope it's the formula that works it out! I agree that sometimes babies are just fussy but given your past, I see why you worry. You're strong-together you'll get through this :)

K Harker said...

Oh Lyns I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said here but that I wish I was there to help you out. I think all babies have a fussy time, and hopefully for you that is all it is, just a phase.
Have baby #2 totally rocked my world, hard core. It wasn't easy at first but you adjust, slowly, but you do adjust. I bet she is going to be fine and healthy, well I'm praying that she will be. Love you guys!

Joel and Carrie said...

Wow I think you just wrote the story of my first two children. Both were criers to say the least. I'm sure I lost a heap of hair back then. The good news is that your third may be the charm (mine is much more low key so far and we're at 6 weeks now). The bad news is maybe not. :) Good luck and may the babe have mercy on your soul.

Randrea said...

I hope that things work out! I'm sure they will! Prayers coming your way :)

Amanda said...

Oh my gosh I am going through the exact same thing right now! Zakary was sooooo fussy during feeding time and he would latch on and off and on and off until I was in so much pain I couldn't stand it! So I decided to try formula and he is so content and happy and sleeps longer at night. I have felt really bad that I am not breast feeding anymore cause I kinda felt like I was giving up on him, but to see him not so fussy and happy makes all the difference. Hang in there. She is sooo cute! We'll have to set Zakary and Leah up in the far far far future! :)